My letter calling for Representative Hastert to resign

As most of you are aware, Mark Foley resigned this week after ABC aired a segment in which they revealed his instant messages to a juvenile page of the House.The messages included a proposition for the juvenile to come over and have a drink, one asking if he made the child horny, and new claims from three other pages that they were also inappropriately contacted by Senator Foley. Foley has since resigned and is currently under investigation.

The larger problem at hand is that Dennis Hastert, the current Speaker of the United States House of Representatives, who knew about the situation months, if not years in advanced. Moreover, he allowed Senator Foley to not only remain in Congress, but also to stay Co-Chair of House Caucus on Missing and Exploited Children (I hope the irony isn’t lost on anyone).

Speaker Hastert, through his inaction, has shown that he believes that political power is more important then basic human decency and safety of children that had been entrusted to someone he knew to be a child predator.

So I ask all those out there in internet land, to email Senator Hastert and ask for his resignation.  No one who values political power of the welfare of children should be allowed to represent anyone besides that scum that calls itself NAMBLA.

Click here to email Dennis Hastert

He accepts email from any address, not just his own district.

My letter:

Mr. Hastert,

It is a shame that a political career can be tarnished so quickly in our system - although there are times when the actions or inactions of an individual in power can warrant that conflict. You allowed a man who you knew to be a danger to children to not only keep his job, but have access to the very group in which you knew that he was a danger. This, unfortunately, was both a flagrantly ill-advised and presently unforgivable. There is a well known line of Dante’s that reads, “There is a special place in Hell for those who, in times of moral crisis, preserve their neutrality”. You choose no action, neutrality in the face of impending devious conduct towards a minor, and you must now accept the consequences for your inaction. This regrettable situation has prompted me to ask for you to step down from your post and surrender your job. I know that there is an election soon, but we cannot sacrifice our values and morals for an individuals pride and to preserve a system that would overlook such behavior to maintain a majority voting block.

Thank you,

Brian Hamilton

Entry for October 05, 2006

In a time a time where everyone believes that they are middle class, everyone is also under the strange misconception that they are a political centrist. But if you ask them what they mean by this they will give you the standard answer of, “Well, sometimes I’m conservative and sometimes I’m a bit liberal”. They will usually follow this with several caveats and examples so that you fully understand that they are a political wash. This is an odd turn of events and I blame the parties themselves. No one wants to be included in a Democratic Party that has no direction and very few cohesive ideals. Moreover, no one wants really to be called a Republican when you realize that they are in no way still conservative, and have pushed for larger government, less personal responsibility, a reduction in states rights, and more government intervention into the personal lives of the citizens. No, in this day we all call ourselves middle class and centrists because all of the other options leave a bad taste in our mouths.

Entry for October 04, 2006

The Democrats seemed poised to take back the House and with the recent news coming from Florida, stand a decent chance to take back the Senate as well. All future impeachment discussions aside, this will make the current president essentially a lame duck for the remainder of his term. With this soon to be neutering of the White House it has set up a certain media driven person with name recognition, now schooled in the art of changing principles and extreme swings towards daily fluctuation political views, as the current choice for the Democratic candidate in 2008. Unfortunately with the way the parties now stand, this leaves the voting population with the party of “stay the course to ruin” or to change leadership to “we are for whatever you people are for this very minute as long as you support us”.

This worries me. For years the Democrats have been in search of a leader on a white horse, an exciting new candidate who will lead the Democratic Party out of the wilderness. This argument has become a substitute for thought, for purpose, for conviction. Twenty-first century Democrats cling to the hope of a messiah in the vacant centrist venue where messiahs never appear. Instead, the Democratic Party must decide what its core principles are and the, and only then, decide which national leader or leaders best embody those principles. No politician can save a political party that does not know what it stands for.

Anyone else see Fahrenheit 451 resemblances?

With all of the violent crime in the form of kids shooting up their schools over the last couple of days, I’m beginning to notice that we seem to be slipping into a require reading book from my High School days. The mindless crime, the movement towards an authoritarian government, the media driven society, a leader who frowns on reading....

...it all seems to be getting worse, and it's all just a bit creepy. Someone tell me I’m wrong.

Entry for September 28, 2006

I'm in the process of finishing a PhD and am constantly dumbfounded as to how certain individuals at my school can get as far as I have while remaining so ignorant. Moreover, they seem to wallow in their absence of their intellectualism while being immersed in their righteous idiocy that is somehow bestowed upon them by their advanced degrees.

Education does not mean that we have become certified experts in business or mining or botany or journalism or epistemology; it means that through the absorption of the moral, intellectual; and esthetic inheritance of the race we have come to understand and control ourselves as well as the external world; that we have chosen the best as our associates both in spirit and the flesh; that we have learned to add courtesy to culture, wisdom to knowledge, and forgiveness to understanding. Education does not give you the right to believe in yourself absolutely – if anything, it should give you the understanding of the small amount you actually know.

Blah, now back to listening to the Pogues...

My Aunt Nancy died last night...

She had been fighting cancer for many years now and died after being surrounded by her family. She was ready to go and we are happy for her. In memorial, I'm reposting my favorite blog called "Death, but a Good Thing". Enjoy.

You want a physicist to speak at your funeral. You want the physicist to talk to your family about the conservation of energy, so they will understand that your energy has not died. You want the physicist to remind your sobbing mother about the first law of thermodynamics: that no energy is created in the universe and none is destroyed. You want your mother to know that all of your energy, every vibration, every BTU of heat, every weave of every particle that was her beloved child, remains with her in this world. You want the physicist to tell your weeping father that amid the energy of the cosmos you gave as good as you got. And at some point you would hope that the physicist would step down from the pulpit and walk to your broken hearted spouse in their pew and tell them that all the photons that have ever bounced off your face; all the particles whose paths were interrupted by your smile; by the touch of your hair; hundred of trillions of particles that have raced off you like children have had their waves forever changed by you. And as your widow rocks in the arms of a loving family, may the physicist let her know that other photons that bounced from you were gathered in the particle detectors that are her eyes. That those photons collected within her created constellations of electromagnetically charged neurons whose energy will go on forever. And the physicist will remind the congregation how much of all of our energy is given off as heat (there may be a few people fanning themselves with their program as he says it). And he will tell them that the warmth that flowed through you in life is still here as part of all that we are even as we who morn continue the heat of our own lives. And you will want the physicist to explain to those who loved you they need not have faith, indeed should not have faith – let them know that they can measure, that scientists can measure, precisely, the conservation of energy and have found it accurate, verifiable and consistent across space and time. You will hope that your family will examine the evidence and satisfy themselves that the science is sound, and be comforted to know that your energy is still around. According to the law of the conservation of energy not a bit of you is gone – you’re just less orderly. Amen.

The Best Blog Post Ever

This is the best blog post ever. I know, because I do the best job to acquire and live life the best possible way and it shows. I must have the best stuff, because I deserve the best. The best is what America is all about. We are the best and need the best cars, the best TVs… the best of everything. I’m currently writing this on the best laptop available – but I will have to discard it this weekend because the new best one comes out. I can, of course, afford that because I went to the best schools and have lead the best life possible. I only stay at Best Westerns, shop at Best Buy, and hang out with my best friends. I do all of this because I know that being obsessed with the best will ultimately lead me to contentment and fulfillment. Surely all the best minds know that the endless search for something better will eventually lead to the best emotional balance and happiness. Right?

I miss Bill

This week Bill Clinton is making headlines for showing both fire and intelligence and I realize that I absolutely miss that in our politicians. We seem to be at a point in time where our politicians are either spiritless or intellectually deficient, and that sucks. But with any luck, his performance this week will inspire debate, reignite passion, and get people thinking again. The one thing that really made me smile was The Daily Show with Jon Stewart when Bill said, “If you are a Democrat, you win when people think”. It was at that moment when I realized WHY I really missed Bill.

I miss the arguments based on intellectual deliberation instead of knee-jerk reactions and school-yard insults.

I miss discussions on details about details of important matters.

I miss contests over who has more brain power in any given situation.

The one successful thing that George W. has done over his presidency is lower our expectations of what we expect from our elected officials. And that, that is what I miss the most.

Entry for September 22, 2006

According to his own theory, Occam was probably a lazy man who never bothered to think stuff out.

Who the hell are you to tell me how time moves?

I’m getting pretty sick and tired of people applying their assumptions of existence on me. Time is a perception of your mind so that you can exist within an understandable scope compliant with your ability to comprehend being. You know damn well that time and motion are just illusions created by your inability to perceive everything at once and that everything that is possible exists as a path and that you just chose this path to perceive as "correct". So stop trying to drag me down into your general singularity-defined existence perceived by your tiny brain and your misguided belief in "time".

PS Sorry I was late picking you up.

Entry for September 20, 2006

Is it wrong that I want to live life in one of Sean Astin’s underdog monologues?

Word of the day - Arachibutyrophobia

Arachibutyrophobia – the fear of having peanut butter stuck to the roof of your mouth.

Entry for September 15, 2006

As the wholly controlled Republican government ends this fall, so will the support of the Extreme Christian Right. In which, I would like to offer a word or two to those who are Christian and have been unfairly lumped into this intense ideological mold. What the Extreme Christian Right and the Republican Party have been trying to do is dictate explicit beliefs in Christianity, imposed into our society, without choice of compliance. And as we all know, there is no goodness without freewill. Without the ability to freely choose – or reject – the good, an individual possesses no control over his attaining grace. In the language of Christianity, a believer cannot be saved unless the choice to follow Christ is freely made, unless the option not to follow him genuinely exists. Compelled belief is no belief at all. I am not a Christian, nor do I believe that there should be a mixing of Church and State other then an awareness that the one exists to balance the first. That being said, I am glad that the Republican Party will no longer be controlled by an extremist faction forcing compulsory compliance to a standard set of supposed Christian norms. Instead, we should all be happy that you we can once again choose our own paths freely and to dictate our own lives and souls as we choose without judgment of those who have deemed themselves worthy to judge all.

The politically primitive man's brain remains

Man is not a willing political animal. The human male associates with is fellows less by desire than by habit, imitation, and the compulsion of circumstance; he does not love society so much as he fears solitude. He combines with other men because isolation endangers him, and because there are many things that can be done better together than alone; in his heart he is a solitude individual, pitted heroically against the world. If the average man had his way there would probably never have been any state. Even today he resents it, classes death with taxes, and yearns for that government that governs least. If he asks for many laws it is only because he is sure that his neighbor needs them; privately he is an unphilosophical anarchist and thinks laws in his own case superfluous.

Entry for September 12, 2006

Keith Olbermann is without a doubt the best news anchor on television today. Two weeks ago, echoing the spirit of the legendary Edward R. Murrow, Olbermann took Donald Rumsfeld to task for comparing critics of the Iraq war to Nazi appeasers. Tonight, broadcasting live from above a desolate and still demolished Ground Zero, Olbermann delivered a stirring eight minute commentary indicting the Bush Administration's shameful and tragic response to 9/11. The entire speech is worth watching and reading, so I'm posting the full text below:

Half a lifetime ago, I worked in this now-empty space. And for 40 days after the attacks, I worked here again, trying to make sense of what happened, and was yet to happen, as a reporter.

All the time, I knew that the very air I breathed contained the remains of thousands of people, including four of my friends, two in the planes and -- as I discovered from those "missing posters" seared still into my soul -- two more in the Towers.

And I knew too, that this was the pyre for hundreds of New York policemen and firemen, of whom my family can claim half a dozen or more, as our ancestors.

I belabor this to emphasize that, for me this was, and is, and always shall be, personal.

And anyone who claims that I and others like me are "soft,"or have "forgotten" the lessons of what happened here is at best a grasping, opportunistic, dilettante and at worst, an idiot whether he is a commentator, or a Vice President, or a President.

However, of all the things those of us who were here five years ago could have forecast -- of all the nightmares that unfolded before our eyes, and the others that unfolded only in our minds -- none of us could have predicted this.

Five years later this space is still empty.

Five years later there is no memorial to the dead.

Five years later there is no building rising to show with proud defiance that we would not have our America wrung from us, by cowards and criminals.

Five years later this country's wound is still open.

Five years later this country's mass grave is still unmarked.

Five years later this is still just a background for a photo-op.

It is beyond shameful.

At the dedication of the Gettysburg Memorial -- barely four months after the last soldier staggered from another Pennsylvania field -- Mr. Lincoln said, "we cannot dedicate, we cannot consecrate, we cannot hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract."

Lincoln used those words to immortalize their sacrifice.

Today our leaders could use those same words to rationalize their reprehensible inaction. "We cannot dedicate, we can not consecrate, we can not hallow this ground." So we won't.

Instead they bicker and buck pass. They thwart private efforts, and jostle to claim credit for initiatives that go nowhere. They spend the money on irrelevant wars, and elaborate self-congratulations, and buying off columnists to write how good a job they're doing instead of doing any job at all.

Five years later, Mr. Bush, we are still fighting the terrorists on these streets. And look carefully, sir, on these 16 empty acres. The terrorists are clearly, still winning.

And, in a crime against every victim here and every patriotic sentiment you mouthed but did not enact, you have done nothing about it.

And there is something worse still than this vast gaping hole in this city, and in the fabric of our nation. There is its symbolism of the promise unfulfilled, the urgent oath, reduced to lazy execution.

The only positive on 9/11 and the days and weeks that so slowly and painfully followed it was the unanimous humanity, here, and throughout the country. The government, the President in particular, was given every possible measure of support.

Those who did not belong to his party -- tabled that.

Those who doubted the mechanics of his election -- ignored that.

Those who wondered of his qualifications -- forgot that.

History teaches us that nearly unanimous support of a government cannot be taken away from that government by its critics. It can only be squandered by those who use it not to heal a nation's wounds, but to take political advantage.

Terrorists did not come and steal our newly-regained sense of being American first, and political, fiftieth. Nor did the Democrats. Nor did the media. Nor did the people.

The President -- and those around him -- did that.

They promised bi-partisanship, and then showed that to them, "bi-partisanship" meant that their party would rule and the rest would have to follow, or be branded, with ever-escalating hysteria, as morally or intellectually confused, as appeasers, as those who, in the Vice President's words yesterday, "validate the strategy of the terrorists."

They promised protection, and then showed that to them "protection" meant going to war against a despot whose hand they had once shaken, a despot who we now learn from our own Senate Intelligence Committee, hated al-Qaida as much as we did.

The polite phrase for how so many of us were duped into supporting a war, on the false premise that it had 'something to do' with 9/11 is "lying by implication."

The impolite phrase is "impeachable offense."

Not once in now five years has this President ever offered to assume responsibility for the failures that led to this empty space, and to this, the current, curdled, version of our beloved country.

Still, there is a last snapping flame from a final candle of respect and fairness: even his most virulent critics have never suggested he alone bears the full brunt of the blame for 9/11.

Half the time, in fact, this President has been so gently treated, that he has seemed not even to be the man most responsible for anything in his own administration.

Yet what is happening this very night?

A mini-series, created, influenced -- possibly financed by -- the most radical and cold of domestic political Machiavellis, continues to be televised into our homes.

The documented truths of the last fifteen years are replaced by bald-faced lies; the talking points of the current regime parroted; the whole sorry story blurred, by spin, to make the party out of office seem vacillating and impotent, and the party in office, seem like the only option.

How dare you, Mr. President, after taking cynical advantage of the unanimity and love, and transmuting it into fraudulent war and needless death, after monstrously transforming it into fear and suspicion and turning that fear into the campaign slogan of three elections? How dare you -- or those around you -- ever "spin" 9/11?

Just as the terrorists have succeeded -- are still succeeding -- as long as there is no memorial and no construction here at Ground Zero.

So, too, have they succeeded, and are still succeeding as long as this government uses 9/11 as a wedge to pit Americans against Americans.

This is an odd point to cite a television program, especially one from March of 1960. But as Disney's continuing sell-out of the truth (and this country) suggests, even television programs can be powerful things.

And long ago, a series called "The Twilight Zone" broadcast a riveting episode entitled "The Monsters Are Due On Maple Street."

In brief: a meteor sparks rumors of an invasion by extra-terrestrials disguised as humans. The electricity goes out. A neighbor pleads for calm. Suddenly his car -- and only his car -- starts. Someone suggests he must be the alien. Then another man's lights go on. As charges and suspicion and panic overtake the street, guns are inevitably produced. An "alien" is shot -- but he turns out to be just another neighbor, returning from going for help. The camera pulls back to a near-by hill, where two extra-terrestrials are seen manipulating a small device that can jam electricity. The veteran tells his novice that there's no need to actually attack, that you just turn off a few of the human machines and then, "they pick the most dangerous enemy they can find, and it's themselves."

And then, in perhaps his finest piece of writing, Rod Serling sums it up with words of remarkable prescience, given where we find ourselves tonight: "The tools of conquest do not necessarily come with bombs and explosions and fallout. There are weapons that are simply thoughts, attitudes, prejudices, to be found only in the minds of men.

"For the record, prejudices can kill and suspicion can destroy, and a thoughtless, frightened search for a scapegoat has a fallout all its own -- for the children, and the children yet unborn."

When those who dissent are told time and time again -- as we will be, if not tonight by the President, then tomorrow by his portable public chorus -- that he is preserving our freedom, but that if we use any of it, we are somehow un-American...When we are scolded, that if we merely question, we have "forgotten the lessons of 9/11"... look into this empty space behind me and the bi-partisanship upon which this administration also did not build, and tell me:

Who has left this hole in the ground?

We have not forgotten, Mr. President.

You have.

May this country forgive you.

There is only one story

Whether you are reading Oedipus Rex, The Purpose Driven Life, 1984, or The Zen of Farting, there is only one story: What it means to be human. But you can’t just come out and write What it Means to be Human because you would be wrong, because it constantly changes, and because what you believe constitutes “being human” will vary from, well, everyone else. Instead, we write stories, biographies, autobiographies, history, fart jokes… you name it, about our experiences, pretend or real, that tells a bit about our view of humanity. It is this accumulated collection of accounts that tell the story of What it Means to be Human. So when you write, and you have to write, remember that your additions to the collected works will be judged not on your telling of the one story, but how well it reflects what it means to be human to you. Because everything you write, no matter how dumb, reflects what it means to be human.

Laugh and the world laughs with you; fart and they'll stop laughing.

Entry for September 01, 2006

We need Theseus for president in 2008.

The sum of historical repetition defined

What a single individual can learn about humanity during one lifetime is limited to a very small area. It is as a collective that additions can be made, and as a collective where the extent of the knowledge gained can pool to allow for a broader view of the existence of humanity with all of its idiosyncrasies.

In order to assist individuals along we as a collective have created a number of means to ease the thought over the big unanswerable questions of “Why are we here?”, “Is there a God?”, and “What is my purpose?”. This diversion is done through religion or public policy (sometimes in combination) and allows the vast majority of our collective to focus on either maintaining civilization or advancing it through small steps.

As for the repetition, it is inevitable. The process which is intrinsic to the allowance of the forward movement of humanity will hit the same problems and milestones over and over again because they are not the main goal, but an ends to a mean. Remember, that it is the collective knowledge and understanding that is the final objective, and not distractions that permit the process to continue.

The re-asking of a good political question

During a debate in 1982, Ronald Reagan, when he debated President Jimmy Carter, asked the public the question: "Are you better off today then you were four years ago?" Circumstances as they were, when asked personally, gave a resounding and destructive answer against the then president Carter and the direction that the country was currently heading.

But more importantly, the way that the question was phrased was ultimately more important. What Reagan said was Are "YOU better off", not are "WE better off", not is "OUR union better off", but are "YOU better off". This question marked the official moment of the complete transformation from Hippies to Yuppies. Sure, it took a few years for the economy and people to realize that they now believed more in compound interest then in free love, want a BMW instead of LSD, and believed in fiscal responsibility above the common good, but it still happened at that moment. It was a national change from "ask what you can do for your country" to "what's in it for me?".

This fall, what I would like to see, is someone asking the question: "Do you believe that our country is better off today then it was six years ago?" Because the answer to that also gives a resounding and destructive answer against the completely Republican controlled government of the last five years.

Noticed that I said, "Republicans". I will no longer say Conservatives because the Republicans as a controlling block are anything but Conservative. No NeoCons either, moderates and extremes all voted the same. Splitting them into separate groups, even though they all voted the same, relieves certain individuals of the responsibility for the failings and misdirection of the recent events. Therefore, Republicans are the ones who must shoulder the blame.

And what blame is that? Well, the Republicans have spent money like a drunken Ted Kennedy in Vegas with a fist full of government bonds. Theyve increased the size of the federal budget like a New Deal on Barry Bond levels of steroids while decreasing individual responsibility and freedoms faster then your parents after they caught you smoking pot in the bathroom at your grandmothers 80th birthday party. And lets not forget that we as a country started a war under what turned out to be false pretenses. What have we got in return? More enemies, thousands of dead troops, decreased Middle-East stability, international snickering and a national debt that, if dollars equaled miles, would be a round trip to Pluto and back almost 1000 times.

So this fall, you America, have one job: vote for the direction you want to see the country to head in. If you like the direction of the last couple of years, vote Republican. If you would like to see the country head in any way other then what weve been heading in, vote Democrat. While voting, you must ask yourself: Do you believe that our country is better off today then it was six years ago?

I am proud to be a nerd

"Individual science fiction stories may seem as trivial as ever to the blinder critics and philosophers of today—but the core of science fiction, its essence ... has become crucial to our salvation if we are to be saved at all." – Isaac Asimov

My idea for a new competition reality show:

Welcome to Stand Up! Fox's new standing competition reality series where you American get to choose who you think is the best Stander the US has to offer. As always, our judges are the resident perky, forcibly-retired performer Candy Paxil, talent scout Hip Kooldude, and our own little grumpy part of Britain, Hugh Bigalow Longfellow.

It’s week 3 and last week there were some surprises and heartbreaks. Let’s take a look at this week’s first contestant Allexi.

Allexi, wearing a tight, bright orange dress, hair extensions and a holding a small dog while she stands in the middle of the stage – not moving.

Audience screams insanely

Hugh: Allexi that was a horrible stand. Where was the heart, the emotion, your trademark style? I just didn’t like it.

Audience boos loudly

Candy: Well, I don’t know what Mr. Uptight British was watching over there, but I thought you were greatly improved over last week. You got up, you stood there and didn’t move – and then right at the end, you blinked. It was brilliant.

Audience screams like they’ve seen Godzilla

Hip: I totally agree with Candy. I’ve been in this business for a long time and haven’t seen anyone who can just stand there like you do. You got my vote.

Audience screams, two boys in the front row hyperventilate and pass out.

Well, how did you America feel about it? We’ll find out later when we reveal who received the most of the 19.7 zillion votes!

Our next contestant is Stephan. Let’s take a look at Stephan’s last week’s performance.

Stephan, wearing a bandana, purposely distressed jeans and a hat slightly off to one side while he stands in the middle of the stage – not moving.

Hip: You know, I wanted to feel it, I needed to feel it, but I didn’t feel it.

Audience screams, but is not sure why

Candy: Well, I think it was brilliant. Just brilliant. If I had to sum up what I thought of that stand, I would say… ….um.. …. .brilliant.

Audience wails in ecstasy

Hugh: Stephan, you’ve never impressed me. I think you’re too short, you’re ugly, and I’ve never liked the way that you stand. That is (dramatic pause) until tonight. Tonight you were on fire. You stood there better then you ever have before. Tonight, you were a standing God.

Audience screams and several young girls actually explode…

Things that piss me off

Now that I am officially 30, I’ve decided to undertake my first curmudgeon act. I’m starting a “things that piss me off” category on my blog. So, without further ado, these are the things that have pissed me off since I turned old yesterday:

Your camera phone. Listen, the resolution sucks, the screen is 1” wide, and you’re not going to ever look at those pictures again. Moreover, since you’ve concentrated on taking the picture, you’ve psychologically told your brain that it’s ok to forget about whatever it was that you were taking a picture of. So stop fucking taking pictures, you look like a tool and it’s actually making you dumber.

Your voice on that phone. What the fuck is wrong with you people? Your phone can only transmit at one decibel level of volume. So no matter how loudly you speak, it will always sound the same on the other side. All that happens when you yell into your phone is piss off those of us who have to listen to your idiotic ranting. Anyone screaming into a cell phone should have said phone inserted into their left nostril.

Your children. Listen, I don’t like your children. You may find little Cody cute, but to me he’s a 40 pound, caffeinated, prescription junkie that just ran head first into my knee on a Ritalin and Mountain Dew high that makes lifetime meth addicts jealous. Either control your child or I’ll hire a British nanny to shake him.

Your wordy clothing. Who the fuck started this stupid trend and when will it die? It’s just like that trucker hat fad, except slightly less down-syndrome because we have to assume that you had to be able to read to buy the shirt. I don’t know why the rebellious youth of today decided that labeling themselves was a good idea, but they were wrong. Labels are for losers. Adding a label to yourself defines who you are into that statement. You might as well have one that says, ‘I think I would make a good addition to a large crowd’. Also, ‘Juicy’ is not something you should let your 12 year old daughter have written across her ass. Instead, it should just say ‘Sexual Predator Delight’.

PS If you’re wearing the word ‘Guess’ across your tits, I’m going to go ahead and guess they're fake.

Birthday Boy

There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

Who will you cry for when they die?

I was looking though some of my old Kurt Vonnegut books this past weekend and realized that he turned 84 this year and that he is mortal. And as all mortal men, he will someday die, and probably not to far off with that nasty smoking habit of his. This made me very sad, because I really like him and will miss him when he is gone.

So here is my question to you: Not counting family members, loved ones, and pets, who will you shed a tear for when they pass?

I will cry when Kurt Vonnegut dies. So it goes.

“A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.”

Is it wrong that I don't care?

Today’s headlines are all about Iran, Syria, Lebanon and Whateveristan and I’m having a hard time really giving a flying rat’s ass. Sure, I know, instability in the Middle East, thousands of people dieing, yadda yadda yadda… But really, hasn’t this part of the world been going through something like this on some level every couple of years for the last couple thousand years? These people can do nothing but throw rocks at each other with the only difference ever coming in the technology of the rocks and how they’re thrown.

So really, why should I give a shit? And if I do give a shit, take a full interest, and watch the events unfold and come to a conclusion – isn’t all of this going to just happen again in a couple of years? Isn’t the extent of these primitive peoples existence to throw pooh at each other in the name of Allah?

I love the English language.

Communication is what makes us intellectual beings. If lines of communication are open and logical enough, any possible inspiration, intention, or idea is able to move from one individual to another. So the higher level of communicatory ability you poses, the better the chance you have of getting the exact thought in your mind across to someone else. This allows you to further stretch your mind and expand its possibilities through exterior stimulation and more freely flowing internal operation.

Recently while working on both conversational Latin and Spanish, I came to the conclusion that I am an English language snob. English, for all of its confusion and bizarre rules, is the most flexible and descriptive language ever derived. Just look at it in comparison to the other languages in the Western World: French has 100,000 words in common use; German has 184,000 in common use; and the English language has over 200,000 words in common use. But the thing that really separates English from every other language is the astonishing fact that there are over 650,000 words that CAN be used. In other words, English is the language of options.

Watch as I exercise my literary pleasance by describing, in an otherwise proscribed way, of how my lubricious wife always truckles under to my proclivity for her carnal genuflection, whether it’s because she is my myrmidon or for simple love, all using doggerel content, hopefully loquacious enough not to offend.

Wasn’t that the most tortuously complicated and beautifully dirty sentence ever!

For all of its idiosyncrasies, English is the most potentially descriptive language ever created. And I for one, plan to spend the rest of my life learning how to utilize English communication to its fullest.

I wonder if they'll increase the minimum wage when it passes the price of a gallon of gas

Fun with numbers:

According to the US Energy Information Administration:
In 2001 the average price of a regular gallon of gas nationwide was $1.14.
In 2005 the average price of a regular gallon of gas nationwide was $2.31

That is an increase of 202% over 4 years. Given that we can assume the same historical increases; the price of one gallon of gas will exceed the minimum wage of $5.15 in year 2010.

More fun:

According to the 2004 US Census:
The average commute nationwide is 24.4 minutes and 15 miles one direction or 48.8 minutes and 30 miles round trip for one day of work.

According to the Department of Transportation:
The average vehicle nationwide gets 21 miles per gallon.

According to the Energy Information Administration:
The July 17, 2006 national average of gallon of regular gas was $2.99.

So it takes longer for an employee making minimum wage and using all of the national averages less time to commute to work then to make up the money to pay for that commute.

Work shown:
30 miles/21mpg = 1.428571 gallons of gas for a single day commute
1.428571 x $2.99 = $4.27 dollars for one day commute
$4.27/$5.15 = .8291216 or 83% of an hour to pay for commute
60 minutes an hour x .8291216 = 50 minutes of work to pay for the commute

Yet even more fun:

According to the National Tax Foundation:
The average national tax percentage is 31.6%

According to the US Department of Labor:
The average national work week is 42 hours

So the average minimum wage worker, with the national average commute and the national average taxes taken into account, and not taken into account is the Earned Income Tax Credit because that is money refunded once a year and is not applicable to weekly expenses, takes home $126.18 a week.

Work shown:
42 hours a week x .316 percentage of tax = 13 hours 14 minutes per week to pay for taxes.
50 minutes to pay for commute x 5 days = 4 hours and 15 minutes
13 hours and 14 minutes + 4 hours and 15 minutes = 17 hours and 29 minutes
42 hours – 17 hours and 29 minutes = 24 hours and 31 minutes
24 hours and 31 minutes x $5.15 = $126.18

Sources:
http://tonto.eia.doe.gov/oog/ftparea/wogirs/xls/pswrgvwaf.xls
www.census.gov/Press-Release/www/releases/archives/american_community_survey_acs/001695.html
www.gao.gov/decisions/majrule/d03675r.htm
http://www.taxfoundation.org/files/sr140.pdf
http://www.bls.gov/schedule/archives/empsit_nr.htm

I wonder if they'll increase the minimum wage when it passes the price of a gallon of gas

Fun with numbers:

According to the US Energy Information Administration:
In 2001 the average price of a regular gallon of gas nationwide was $1.14.
In 2005 the average price of a regular gallon of gas nationwide was $2.31

That is an increase of 202% over 4 years. Given that we can assume the same historical increases; the price of one gallon of gas will exceed the minimum wage of $5.15 in year 2010.

More fun:

According to the 2004 US Census:
The average commute nationwide is 24.4 minutes and 15 miles one direction or 48.8 minutes and 30 miles round trip for one day of work.

According to the Department of Transportation:
The average vehicle nationwide gets 21 miles per gallon.

According to the Energy Information Administration:
The July 17, 2006 national average of a gallon of regluar gas is $2.99.

So it takes longer for an employee making minimum wage and using all of the national averages less time to commute to work then to make up the money to pay for that commute.

Work shown:
30 miles/21mpg = 1.428571 gallons of gas for a single day commute
1.428571 x $2.99 = $4.27 dollars for one day commute
$4.27/$5.15 = .8291216 or 83% of an hour to pay for commute
60 minutes an hour x .8291216 = 50 minutes of work to pay for the commute

Yet even more fun:

According to the National Tax Foundation:
The average national tax percentage is 31.6%

According to the US Department of Labor:
The average national work week is 42 hours

So the average minimum wage worker, with the national average commute and the national average taxes taken into account, and not taken into account is the Earned Income Tax Credit because that is money refunded once a year and is not applicable to weekly expenses, takes home $126.18 a week.

Work shown:
42 hours a week x .316 percentage of tax = 13 hours 14 minutes per week to pay for taxes.
50 minutes to pay for commute x 5 days = 4 hours and 15 minutes
13 hours and 14 minutes + 4 hours and 15 minutes = 17 hours and 29 minutes
42 hours – 17 hours and 29 minutes = 24 hours and 31 minutes
24 hours and 31 minutes x $5.15 = $126.18

Sources:
http://tonto.eia.doe.gov/oog/ftparea/wogirs/xls/pswrgvwaf.xls
www.census.gov/Press-Release/www/releases/archives/american_community_survey_acs/001695.html
www.gao.gov/decisions/majrule/d03675r.htm
http://www.taxfoundation.org/files/sr140.pdf
http://www.bls.gov/schedule/archives/empsit_nr.htm

Local Putz Sends in Resume to Satirical News Source because his Friends ‘Think He’s Funny’

July 17, 2006

Roswell, GA –Roswell resident Brian Hamilton blindly sent in his resume this week to the satirical news source The Onion because his friends thought he was funny on Wednesday night while mocking the Channel 5 News story of a local bridge that had washed out.

“Dude, he was just on a roll,” friend Jeffery (Jeff) Kettle said, “he had me rolling on the floor laughing so hard I thought that a piece of sausage from my meatlovers pizza was about to come out of my nose”.

His decision to submit the resume came on the heals of his recently unsuccessful bid to gain employment at a local temp firm. When reached for comment, the temp firm’s executive assistant Margie Roberts said, “Yeah, I thought he was kinda funny. But funny just wasn’t what our client was looking for at the time. I mean, who really cares if the office temp in accounting is funny or not. Besides, no one wants to be seen talking to the temp unless theyre hot," adding quickly, "which he wasn't".

In addition to the other night, Brian’s friends have thought he was funny on a couple other occasions. He has been lauded for his numerous humorous attempts, including a particular instance where he imitated a local gentleman who fell down with a whole tray of food in his hands while trying to return to his table at The Golden Corral. In that situation Brian was observed to be “unexpectedly entertaining”.

When reached for comment, Scott Dikkers, Editor-in-Chief of The Onion, responded, “Look, we get like 100 resumes a day for people wanting to work here - and frankly, we don’t read any of them. On our website clearly says that we don’t hire people that way. So Mr. Whoever can either check our jobs section or apply the same way as the rest of my staff applied: by trapping, presenting and sacrificing a hobo to me in the name of the Egyptian god Bes”.

Asked if Brian stood a chance at gaining employment at The Onion his friend Steven said, “I don’t know man. I mean, he was funny and all – but Jeff and I were pretty stoned at the time. And, like, how many of the readers of that magazine are stoned when they read it?”.

When asked what he would do if The Onion did not see it in their best interest to hire him Brian commented, "I'll head back to that temp place. I think that chick there thought I was hot".

Good morning, I'd like to have an argument, please.

Religion and myth are the reflection of the society and a compass for the direction in which they move.

Right now in America the Christian faith has become a social organization in which like-minded people can come together and learn how to judge each other. Their faith has become an assemblage where they learn the modern, acceptable ways to be bigoted, intolerant, and justified.

The average American Christian will deny this, but when you ask them about select social issues their true beliefs will come shinnying through in all of their fanatical glory. The true shame of it is that the next generation of Christians will also believe that hate and intellectual ignorance are true family values.

Religion and myth is what holds the intellectually lazy, fearful, or lonely to a path of action. And since it is so easy to change any religion or myth, the path can be easily skew towards whatever means is needed at that moment. The safety net to this course correction is in the fact that people believe that the message divine or infallible (“Oceania had always been at war with Eurasia”).

So that is the reflection of where we are as a culture right now: Spoiled, conceited, and blissfully ignorant (and we like it that way).

It will change soon, the pendulum swings both ways and will come back towards center before people can get much more fanatical. Thank Whatever that we as a society can't stick to one thing for very long.

Here is my open question: Are we to a communicational point in history where it is unreasonable to conceive of a holy war propagated for reason solely of divine value?

PS Feel free to argue anything I’ve written. I would actually like to be proven wrong on many of my points.

PPS Iraq was done for lots of reasons.. ….one might be religious, but that reason is waaaay down the list. It probably falls somewhere below Halliburton and “He tried to kill my Daddy”.

There is an inner joke here somewhere...

The businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped, exhausted.

His sympathetic wife was right there with a tall cool drink and a comforting word.

"My, you look tired," she said. "You must have had a hard day today.

What happened to make you so exhausted?"

"It was terrible," her husband said, "The computer broke down and all of us had to do our own thinking."

Entry for July 06, 2006

Have you ever wondered what would happen if there were no hypothetical situations?

Televised Fireworks Should Only be shown on CSPAN

The wife and I went to the local firework this evening, so we were home in time to see most of the nationally televised firework shows - and I have to say that every single fucking one of them missed the point. Each show kept panning across from the crowd to the sky, showing a smiling, gazing, blonde woman, or a spinning child completely oblivious to the large explosions directly above their head.

Personally, I could give two ant shits (assuming ant’s shit) about the scenery, the blonde, or the damn kid. All I want to see is crap exploding in the sky with cheesy, overly-dramatic, patriotic songs poorly strung together in the background.

So tomorrow I would like all of the congressman who read my blog (I know you’re out there Orrin Hatch) to introduce a bill to specify that only CSPAN can cover firework shows. One camera, pointed, aimed, unhosted and unmoved. Any other channels are welcome to get a feed from them – but are prohibited from running a ticker along the bottom, adding their huge logo blocking a chunk of the screen or showing any of those damn promos where people popup in the corner of the screen advertising for whatever comes on next.

Any violation will not result in a fine. Instead, for each infringement a program executive from the violating station will be tied to a rocket set shot into the heavens during the next firework show. And hopefully, you’ll be able to see them in full explosive color live on CSPAN.

Superman

So we went and saw Superman this weekend and I feel I need to share a few things.

1. I love comic book, popcorn, big budget movies - Im a complete sucker for them. No matter how intelligent I become, how old I get, or how mature I think I am, I will always love a good superhero movie.


2. Superman is the best superhero ever. Period. Why? Because Superman stands alone. Superman did not become Superman, Superman was born Superman. When Superman wakes up in the morning, he is Superman. His alter ego is Clark Kent. His outfit with the big red S is the blanket he was wrapped in as a baby when the Kents found him. Those are his clothes. What Kent wears, the glasses the business suit, that's the costume. That's the costume Superman wears to blend in with us. Clark Kent is how Superman views us. And what are the characteristics of Clark Kent? He's weak, unsure of himself... he's a coward. Clark Kent is Superman's critique on the whole human race.


3. Go see this movie. Its big, long and does a good job picking up speed as it goes. Moreover, its nice to see what we as a country attempt to embody. The Superman on the big screen always saves the day; we can only wish to look that good in tight cloths. We as a country have always aspired to be Superman and have (and will) always fall short of every incarnation of the man of steel (Nietzsche's included). But I dont believe it is in the failing but in the trying that matters. As long as we as a people aspire to be honest, noble, and benevolent in our lives then we all become a little bit of Superman. Now if we could only learn to fly...

Entry for July 02, 2006

Once I thought to be human was the highest aim a man could have, but I see now that it was meant to destroy me. Today I am proud to say that I am inhuman, that I belong not to men and governments, that I have nothing to do with creeds and principles. I have nothing to do with the creaking machinery of humanity – I belong to the earth. I say that lying on my pillow and I can feel the horns spouting from my temples.

Beer Braised BBQ Pork Butt (Shoulder or Picnic or Shoulder Roast or Shoulder Butt)

The Butt of a pig is actually the shoulder area through mid front calf. There is a lot of fat and connective tissue, which results in moist, succulent meat after many hours of cooking. Shoulder is the shoulder and Picnic is the part in-between the shoulder and the calf of the animal. Either will work. Picnic is usually a little fattier and cheaper. Both portions, however, are inexpensive.

Pulled pork, which is what this recipe is called in the South, is an absolute beauty of a BBQ if done right. This recipe is easy to follow, cheap, and delicious.

For the dry rub:
1 tablespoons salt
About 40 grinds black pepper
2 tablespoons chili powder
1 tablespoon garlic powder
2 teaspoons ground coriander
2 teaspoons ground mustard seed
12 ounces good ale or dark beer, Warsteiner works best
4 cloves garlic, chopped
1 5-pound pork butt (shoulder of the animal) .

Trim the skin and majority of the easily removable excess fat off of the meat. Don’t be too careful, most of it will cook off.

Combine rub ingredients in a bowl and mix well. Rub all over pork butt. Wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least three hours and as long as overnight (do not exceed 10 hours or meat will become too salty).

Preheat oven to 500 degrees F. Unwrap pork and place in a roasting pan with sides about 2 inches high. Cook 45 minutes until dark browned and even blackening in places. Remove from oven. Lower oven to 325 degrees F. Pour beer over the top and add chopped garlic around the pork. Cover tightly with heavy duty aluminum foil or twice with regular foil. Poke about 10 holes all over the top of the foil. Cook pork butt 2 1/2 hours longer until so tender that it comes away very easily from center bone.

Place the meat on a plate and pour the pan juice (there will be plenty) into a saucepan. To the pan juices add:

1/2 cup ketchup
2 tablespoons regular Dijon mustard
3 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
1/3 cup dark brown sugar
1/4 cup apple cider vinegar

Bring to a simmer until reduced by half and thick, about 20 minutes.

While the sauce is boiling down, pull apart the pork with 2 forks.

Serve either on a plate with the sauce on the side (or over the top) or on a bun with the sauce on top.

Enjoy!

The Global Warming 'Argument'

Now that Al Gore's movie and book An Inconvenient Truth is out, I've been seeing more and more questions questioning the science of Global Warming. So I thought a little background with some references is needed for those of you naysayers and undecided.

Global warming is the observed increase in the average temperature of the Earth's atmosphere and oceans in recent decades. (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/global%20warming). It is mostly man-made and comes from everything from factories to cars. Every single real scientific study links global warming directly to humans. (http://www.epa.gov/ebtpages/airairpoglobalwarming.html).

It's only certain political figures that don't want to change things for reasons easily guessable. That is why the whole developed world signed that Kyoto Treaty and why every single developed country is working to reduce their polluting of the air, water, and land.

See the new Gore movie; it has the backing of the scientific community AND GOVERNMENTAL POLITICAL ORGANIZATIONS:

Scientific community:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060627/ap_on_sc/gore_s_science

Government Organizations:

NOAA (National Oceanic & Atmospheric Administration) on why Peer-Reviewed Journals are the only real scientific studies to be believed: http://www.ncdc.noaa.gov/paleo/globalwarming/peerreview.html

The EPA's site for KIDS: http://www.epa.gov/globalwarming/kids/index.html

From NASA:
http://earthobservatory.nasa.gov/Library/GlobalWarming/

The Atmospheric Radiation Measurement (ARM) Program is an important part of the U.S. Department of Energy's strategy to understand global climate change:
http://education.arm.gov/studyhall/warming.stm

http://globalchange.gov/
http://www.fueleconomy.gov/feg/climate.shtml
http://marine.usgs.gov/cgi-bin/locator?selected_topic=14&selected_region=n&selected_content=n
http://www.usaid.gov/our_work/environment/climate/
http://lwf.ncdc.noaa.gov/oa/climate/globalwarming.html

All of the above are .gov sites. That means that EVERY SINGLE GOVERNMENT AGENCY THAT DEALS WITH THE ENVIRONMENT IN ANY POSSIBLE WAY AGREES THAT GLOBAL WARMING IS AN ISSUE CREATED BY MAN!!! LET ME REPEAT: EVERY SINGLE ONE OF OUR GOVERNMENT ORGANIZATIONS AGREES THAT WE ARE THE CAUSE OF GLOBAL WARMING. NOW SERUIOUSLY, WHAT THE F*CK IS WRONG WITH YOU IF YOU STILL BELIEVE THAT THIS IS NATURAL WHEN EVEN THE WHOLE GOVERNMENT, MINUS THE PRESIDENT'S ADMINISTRATION, AGREES ON THE SAME OUTCOME?!?!?!? ARE YOU REALLY THAT F*CKING STUPID WHERE YOU WOULD BELIEVE A GROUP OF POLITICIANS OVER THE ENTIRE GOVERNMENT SCIENTIFIC COMMUNITY?!??!?!?

Seriously, have you ever noticed that people who don’t believe in the fact that humans created this problem offer no real evidence what-so-ever? That is exactly what is holding us back in taking real steps in fixing this very easily fixable problem. All people like this due is try to poke holes in something that is already rock-solid in ALL REAL SCIENTIFIC (GOVERNMENT) COMMUNITIES. Hollywood, Gore, or anyone else did not make this up. It is our own government organizations, working separately, that have all come to the same conclusion. The people who don't believe offer nothing but opinions and fake studies done by non-governmental - or none-peer reviews - organizations.

It is a real problem that can be fixed with easy measures. Who are you going to believe, the scientists or the politicians?

Entry for June 30, 2006

Maybe it’s the fact that I don’t smoke pot, but I think 311 is as to rock as a nap and a cold glass of water are to a Friday night. They’re played relentlessly on radio and every time I hear them I think to myself that I can’t be the only one completely bored by this band. They are the Hootie and the Blowfish to alternative music. But then again, maybe if I smoked pot...

But they said it was all about morals!?!?!

There is nothing dumber in this world then a lower-middle to middle class Republican.

Wired for Distraction by William Kanapaux

If it turned out that an everyday household item was capable of creating permanent changes in the brains of infants and toddlers, would you keep it or toss it? What if you felt you couldn’t live without it?

A study appearing in the April issue of the journal Pediatrics has said what many have probably suspected for some time now: that TV is essentially rewiring young brains. The flashing of images, the cutting back and forth, the commercial breaks all appear to structure the developing brain so that it looks for and expects rapid-fire patterns.

The study found that for every hour of TV that children from ages 1 to 3 watched, the odds of having attention problems later in life increased by 10 percent. About 50 percent of toddlers watch three or more hours of TV a day, meaning that they have at least a 30 percent greater chance of suffering from attention deficit disorders at age 7 than do toddlers who watch no TV.
Because the human brain continues to develop throughout the early years, the neurological changes that occur from being exposed to this barrage of stimuli are thought to be permanent. By artificial means, the child’s brain is rewired to expect a higher threshold of stimulation than a book or classroom could possibly deliver.

The problem seems to have grown over the last 10 years, as computer technology has allowed for greater manipulation of visual images.

But what about those of us who may have escaped childhood relatively unscathed, at least by today’s standards? Are we being rewired, too, at some level? Have we lost our ability to concentrate?

The changes to television haven’t occurred in a vacuum but have developed alongside other advances in personal-entertainment and communication devices, and it’s difficult to imagine that our media-saturated, gadget-oriented world hasn’t hurt our ability to concentrate and interact meaningfully with our surroundings.

Consider the computer: Computers are often held up as the antidote to television. Yes, they both involve staring into a screen, but TV is a passive form of entertainment while the computer is based on interactivity. We click, we surf, we view, we send. The user is in control of the experience.

But that experience also encourages quick bursts of attention and the search for novelty. A user might have four or more windows opened at once—clicking back and forth among them while also writing a document (say, a technology column), checking e-mails and playing a computer game for a quick distraction from the other distractions.

Unfortunately, multi-tasking doesn’t work all that well, as anyone who’s ever tried to talk on the phone while playing solitaire can attest. That’s a skill better left to computers, which can enhance their efficiency by squeezing out every possible nanosecond from their CPU when necessary.

Human brains don’t function on binary code. Bits of information and trains of thought get lost as the mind skips from one point to the next, never quite able to focus on any given one. Long-term focus gets lost in a haze of half-formed thoughts.

And that’s the kind of world we’re encouraged to live in. Even a 30-minute trip to the local lube shop for an oil change is hardly a respite. Most often a TV blares in the corner. And with any luck, one of the news channels will be playing—its ticker tape, scroll bar and other text and graphics competing with the talking heads for screen space and the viewer’s attention.

The overall effect is one of distraction and insulation from the people around us. This effect can also be seen with game consoles such as X-Box and PS2, which demand complete attention through a steady barrage of sights and sounds. Even when other people are involved, the main interaction and focus of attention is with the machine that delivers the medium.

This effect doesn’t stop with TVs and computers. MP3 players offer the user thousands of music files to choose from. A person can block out large portions of the outside world with a never-ending stream of music with no fear that reality will creep in during a change of cassette or CD. The real world simply becomes visual imagery for the sounds and rhythms delivered to the brain.

Cell phones and wireless Internet create even more opportunities to distract and insulate us from the world that surrounds us. A trip to the coffee shop becomes a caffeinated Internet session with slightly different scenery.

So where does it leave us, other than distracted and unable to concentrate?

It’s fairly clear that our minds are quite capable of grasping new technology and using it to our advantage. But has anything really changed? We are, after all, the product of billions of years’ worth of evolution. But because of our technical prowess, we’re also as close as we’ve ever been to making our planet uninhabitable.

Global problems are complex and require a high level of attention to solve. But if as a society we are trained to seek out distraction, we are far more likely to insulate ourselves with endless entertainment than we are to engage in the difficult and daunting task of solving the world’s problems.

At the same time, those who control the source of our distractions, namely the media conglomerates and the political leaders they support, will hold greater control over a populace that demands to be entertained and wants its “information” in digestible bits. This creates a situation where a large portion of the population is ripe for manipulation, whether it be for political gain, financial gain or both.

And yet this manipulation can seem all but invisible to the one on the receiving end. Take computer games, for instance. Does a person ever control the game or does the game control the person? A person can master the game, but only because that person has mastered the rules of the game, and that game has a developer who created the rules.

This is not to say that technology in itself is bad. But if it has the power to shape our brains and our lives, then it needs to be approached with a certain level of caution. We are already undergoing an evolution of sorts. In many ways, technology has primed us for change. We think, perceive and react differently than the generations who have come before us.

But the question becomes, to what end? And do we really want to send the next generation of children headlong into that world if we’re not even sure what’s in store?

It’s enough to make you want to kill your television, if you could only remember why.

Source: http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/113/4/708

Mango Steak

Mango Steak

2 8-12 oz steaks
½ cup minced onion
4 cups diced ripe mango
½ cup chopped cilantro
1½ cup diced red bell pepper
4 tablespoons French ginger
4 tablespoons olive oil
2 teaspoons fresh lemon juice
2 teaspoons fresh limejuice

Directions

1. Combine all ingredients (except steak) into a large ziplock bag.
2. Add steak to bag, remove as much air from bag as possible, and let marinade in the refrigerator for 30 minutes, turning the bag over at the 15 minute mark.
3. Remove steak and grill to liking (please don’t cook your steak past medium – that’s just wrong).
4. Cook marinade until it reaches 140 degrees and immediately move it to a separate serving dish.
5. Serve steak on top of ladled cooked marinade

Fun quotes I found this week...

These seemed to have some baring on life today:

"Remember always that all of us...are descended from immigrants and revolutionists."
– Franklin D. Roosevelt

"Should any political party attempt to abolish social security, unemployment insurance, and eliminate labor laws and farm programs, you would not hear of that party again in our political history. There is a tiny splinter group, of course, that believes that you can do these things. Among them are a few Texas oil millionaires, and an occasional politician or businessman from other areas. Their number is negligible and they are stupid."
– President Dwight D. Eisenhower, 1952

Also, I’ve been reading John Adams by David McCullough and this quote really struck me as wonderful:

"I must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. My sons ought to study mathematics and philosophy, geography, natural history and naval architecture, navigation, commerce and agriculture, in order to give their children a right to study painting, poetry, music, architecture, statuary, tapestry, and porcelain."
– John Adams, letter to Abigail Adams, 1780

Entry for June 11, 2006

I have a theory that Rod Stewart was created in a lab by scientists who wanted something to listen to as they rode the elevator down to their labs.

Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk

There are three kinds of people in this world. I know you’ve heard that before. Everyone has their “three or two types of people,” or their four or five… But there are three, and the models for these types come neither from psychology nor ancient religion. They come from Columbia Studios and they are archetypally embodied in The Three Stooges.

The Stooges unwittingly – of course – left us a rich legacy of deft interpretations of the most primal human behavior patterns. Their short films, seen as a whole, form a tapestry in which the interactions of people as individuals, corporations, and nations are distilled into a microcosm, a pure essence of existential folly.

There are but a small percentage of Moes in any given population: perhaps five percent. There are even fewer Curlys. The vast bulk of humanity are Larrys (thought represented by male characters, the three also apply to women).

The Moe Personality
Moe is the active personality, and if not always dominant, always striving to be. Moe is the one who spurs the others into action. He devises plans to better their lot, but when his plans fail the other two suffer the consequences. But is Moe any less the fool because they follow his plans?

He is a natural manipulator, only partially because the others are waiting to be manipulated. He would want to manipulate them anyway, even if they weren’t so willing.

The Larry Personality
Larry is a born follower, a blank slate that only reacts (and slowly at that) to external stimuli. He never initiates action. He is Moe’s absolute tool, the truest “stooge”. When Moe’s abuse finally does make him angry he lashes out not at Moe, but at Curly. No matter how he suffers under Moe’s yoke he never really rebels. He argues, but gives up easily.

Were it not for the presence of his friends, Larry probably would live in peace – a dull, flat, mechanical person. Though clumsy, he is till the most employable of the three – for the other two are incapable following orders, although for different reasons.

The Curly Personality
Curly is the only likeable one, a truly rare human model. He is the holy man, the Divine Fool. He is as creative and active as Moe – but it is a spontaneous and joyous kind of creativity, no fool for the kind of plotting and scheming required by a Moe-dominated society. He is a free spirit, but correspondingly unable to function well in a world of Moes and Larrys. He, like Larry, is perpetually abused, but he intuitively understands what is happening to him and reacts far more angrily – if equally ineffectually. He is everyone’s favorite Stooge because he is the funniest; though his innate nobility and natural humility he constantly best Moe, but it is in an unconscious way and it is only apparent to the outside observer. Curly himself is hardly aware of his talents; his weakness is that he does not know his own strength and cannot trust his own luck.

In real life Culrys are usually branded by the Moes and Larrys around them as retarded, schizophrenic, maladjusted, OCD, or just plain stupid…. .whereas, in reality it is only Curly who understands the truth. Remaining cheerful through adversity, he wins battles not by fighting, but by “accidentally” unleashing “accidents” in which his enemies injure themselves.

Stooge Co-Existence
Alien to feelings of avarice or ambition, Curly is the opposite of Moe. Yet the two are drawn together by some inexplicable balancing force of nature. The Larry, are ever the in-betweeners, slug-like nonentities caught in the crossfire of cosmic dualities - yet remaining there by some herding instinct that makes being a casualty of the Moe vs. Curly battle preferable to life alone with other Larrys.

Only the existence of the blameless, bovine Larrys makes that of Moe or Curly possible. They are able to maintain their level of glandular brutality and senseless destruction only at the expense of an unquestioning, loyal worker drone whose income partially supports their excesses. Were he not there to diffuse Moe’s anger by becoming another recipient of his blows, Curly would have been killed long ago and Moe would have committed suicide out of loneliness.

The horror of it all is that the three types need each other to survive. Of all nature’s cycles of parasitic symbiosis, the one involving the three human types is the most nightmarish. It rages around us all the time spreading death and madness, yet when we see it on the screen we call it “comedy”.

I hate Jimmy Buffett

Having lived for a couple of years on a small Caribbean island, like the ones loosely described in many of Jimmy Buffett’s songs, I have really grown to despise his music and now see it for what it is: It’s music for wannabe tourists that reeks of coconut-burnt skin and blue socks with sandals while swaying off rhythm to phony island beats played by people who hate their guts and despise the day that they ever decided that they ever wanted American dollars. It’s music for people who have no idea what happens on an island once the cruise ship leaves – who pretend that they long for the sea and a cold beer, but arrive on floating palaces and suck down $7 cocktails. It is everything that island music is not: fake, soulless and paraded for those who will no participate and add to the rhythm. So please, don’t try to play me Jimmy Buffett songs and pretend that you know – because you have no fucking clue.

Entry for May 29, 2006

I haven’t been to one of those warehouse clubs in awhile and I was amazed to see everything that had changed since my last visit. Where there was a once good deal in almost everything is now either cheaper, lower quality versions of good quality merchandise sold elsewhere or stuff sold in such bulk that you fail to realize that it’s the same price as other stores who don’t require such large purchases. The only truly good bargains were milk, gas, and tires. Everything else broke down to the same cost per ounce, serving and article as the same things in smaller packages or quantities at other stores that don’t require a membership and a human-drawn oxcart to buy a box of cereal.

So the question I posed to myself when I was leaving empty handed was, “Did something change or was I just caught up in the ‘it’s bigger therefore it’s better’ hype?”. And of that, I do not know. It is my hope that over the last couple of years the market has adjusted a bit and the prices are now fairly identical across the board. But in all reality, I probably just never did the math. Either way, I will not be returning to any membership based club unless my yearly intake of milk, gas, and tires increases to a level high enough so offset the savings with the $35 yearly membership fee.

Wasn't that commandment an option?

I was reading the news this morning and came across an article about Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice receiving an honorary degree from Jesuit Boston College University this week and that struck me as kind of odd. I mean, here is a school steeped in religious doctrine and they are honoring someone who now holds the position for the continued war and subsequent justification of such war in Iraq.

Now I’m not religious in any way, but I know that "Thou shall not murder" or “לֹא תִרְצַח” is probably open to all sorts of interpretation such as, "Sure, but what if we think that they might, maybe one day harm us? Wouldn't even Jesus kill all of them in the name of pre-emptive justice?" I mean, suuuure if you want to get technical about it (like the church) murder and killing people is wrong. But why not shower these people who killed in our name as heroes now that the war has been justified through the finding of Weapons of.... Osama... The connection between al-Qaeda and... ....ok, so there was no real justification to killing all of those people. But still, who the hell wants to admit they were wrong. It's not like Jesus ever taught humility.

Lincoln: "Public opinion in this country is everything"

This morning I am angry on the behalf of the Republicans. I am not a Republican, nor would I gleefully side with today’s average elected Democrat – although I would probably agree with more historical Democrat agenda then the Republicans. That being said, I am very upset on behalf of the voting Republicans. What the fuck happened to the elected Republican leaders values, beliefs and responsibility? The president's approval rating is hovering around 30% and the leaders in the House and Senate are surely not much higher. And here it is at another election year and instead of running on smaller government, fewer taxes/debt, and more states rights they’ve had to drag up loser issues like flag burning and gay marriage, again. This is so insulting that I feel for the Republican voters out there.

Arthur Gordon once said "Some people confuse acceptance with apathy, but there's all the difference in the world. Apathy fails to distinguish between what can and what cannot be helped; acceptance makes that distinction. Apathy paralyzes the will-to-action; acceptance frees it by relieving it of impossible burdens.” This is where I believe that most Republican voters have gone. They’ve learned to accept the fact that their team will stay in charge as long as they also accept the fact that some changes in their core principles will have to evaporate into memory.

What they are left with is a country that has spent more money then ever before, created a climate of ever-weakening states rights, more intrusion from our national government and a slow dissolve of our Checks and Balances. This is not what they believed that they were voting for and this saddens me. It’s one thing to back a candidate knowing that there is no way that they can deliver on all of their campaign promise – but it’s another to back a candidate only to find out that they are going to do the exact opposite of what they said AND to simultaneously realize that this person is your only party option.

So this fall as the average Republican listens to his elected leaders talk about the knowingly dead issues of gay marriage amendments, flag burning and obscenity legislation they will also have to ponder whether or not it’s better to sit this election out in the name of what is best for the country. Because let’s face it, as rare as it is finding a fiscally conservative Republican walking the halls of the House or Senate, it’s equally rare to find one of these representatives that believes that their core isn’t stupid and accepting enough to take their crap election year politics sales pitches – and that is a sad state of affairs for all of us.

Nothing is more Nouveau Riche then a BMW

First of all, a few disclaimers: I understand that we live in a time of plenty in this country. I understand that those generations that came before you worked hard so that you could have the “best” things in life. And yes, I understand that you now want the “best” things in life. Now that that has been said, let’s move on.

Secondly, for those of you that don’t know, Nouveau Riche is a French term, usually derogatory, to describe persons who acquire wealth within their generation, and spend it conspicuously. The implication is that, being of lower- or middle-class origin, these individuals lack the taste to properly use wealth. Frankly, I could care less about your pedigree and overall elegance as long as you can carry yourself in a respectful manner – which very few of our recent generation seem to be able to do.

The warning:

Stop it, just stop it. You aren’t fooling anyone. You are not part of the mega-rich and you are not “old money”. Old money won’t speak to you; old money doesn’t like you. To them, you are nothing more then a snotnosed little brat with a maxed out credit card and no class. The only time Prada, BMW, Gucci, Rolex… will bring you respect is when you are dealing with another Nouveau Riche child. And yes, I’m talking to you.

But I digress to explain.

Old money has been here for a long time and is very comfortable in its daily rituals. It doesn’t feel the need to flash “bling”. It knows that it has money and doesn’t aim to buy the “best” of everything. Instead, it buys what it likes and doesn’t think another thing of it. It’s only the Nouveau Riche who would ever seek out that which someone else has deemed the “best” as the actual “best” and flaunt in lieu of class. What you buy, wear, travel in and display does not make you cool or add in any meaningful way to your level of standing in society. So when you try to act rich your lack of urbanity shines through and you appear, to everyone who is not your lesser, as someone who has a little bit of money and spends it on shiny things to amuse their little mind.

And now I’ll regress.

My parents did a wonderful job of instilling a sense of self-pride and refinement in me at a very young age. I value respect, civility and real substance over impressing you. I do not feel the need to buy things to increase my standing or pretend that I was not born into a different class then I was. And for that I thank them and hope that your own children see through your parade of distractions to the substance and class that still lurk down deep in your soul.

So the shit has hit the fan, and I'm glad

Alright, so Kela has finally received her marching orders and they are sending us Saginaw, Michigan for 76 months for her clinical rotations. The good news is that we now have a plan; the bad news is that the plan sucks. We now have 12 weeks to work our asses off in the Atlanta
area and raise $14,000 so that we can relocated across the country (again) to complete Kela's medical education. So from here on out I will be working as many hours as possible as a prostitute, day laborer and indentured servant. Kela will be back (again) at her Grandfather's doctors office shlepping in the
same job that she did in high school. Those of you willing to donate to the 'Pay For Kela's School Fund'; can send money through PayPal:

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood

“Remember what Bilbo used to say: It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to.”

I’ve come to the conclusion, during the course of my short life, that he who dares nothing, need hope for nothing. I see my path, but I don't know where it leads. Not knowing where I'm going is what inspires me to travel it. And now that paths lie ahead of me in directions of varying adventures I see only the future in each bearing. I have the same fears, concerns and worries as always accompanies any first step – but a nervous need for adventure and success that will not let me pause. It is on new paths where you learn who you are and where you are heading. I can only hope that this next path reveals enough to keep my feet beneath me. Now is the time to plan, pack and progress – movement is afoot.

Entry for May 03, 2006

Boredom is an insult to the imagination.

Have you ever taken one of those goofy love tests?

I was tricked into this one: http://gud.us/lovetest.php?page=537458 and got a good laugh, so I thought I would share. Enjoy.

Can someone please name this song?

Here is the link http://brian.hamilton.youaremighty.com/

What I know:
It’s not from Carmina Burana
It’s not from the Omen
It sounds Russian to me – but I’m not really sure.

Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

I can’t believe I’m responding to this question

I post quite a bit on Yahoo Answers and got barraged with questions when I posted a description as to the process of evolution as a theory on the same level as gravity (let’s hope there aren’t still people arguing that gravity doesn’t really exist). Here was the brunt of his argument: If we evolved from monkeys, why are monkeys still here?

So let me post this publicly, just in case someone else who can both read and thinks that this is a valid question might see it.

Because we all came from the common ancestor. It’s like wolves and dogs. Dogs evolved from wolves, but we still have wolves. Not everything has to evolve into the same thing (or at the same rate). So wolves in one place in the world can evolve close to where they’ve been for millions of years, and wolves with human interaction can evolve into the mutts we have in the house.

There, enough of that. I can’t believe we still have people so intellectually lazy on this planet. At this rate we will may actually start to devolve.

I really need a vacation...

...with some time to read what I want to read while not caring what those sounds coming from my laptop are warning me about..

After the credits

What do you do when your love’s lost hope?
When you know you will never get what you gave?

Could you resent and not hate.
Would you want to?
Would you have to?

In the end does it matter,
That you’ve seen your life fade?
Your hopes are still shattered,
You life has been paid.

Gone is your hope,
Disappeared is you life.
Never returning, ending in strife.

Wasted on those who cannot repay
Gone in the years of constant decay.

And finally you are all on your own,
Broken and tired and very alone.

Should you have left when you had a chance?
Abandoned hope for new romance?

Would it end the same?

The Anderson, South Carolina Public Library of Whatever

I am beginning to loath the beautiful Anderson, SC Public Library. It stands in Historic Anderson as a beacon of intelligently spent wealth in a small struggling southern town. Unfortunately they have the audacity to cater to the only recently anurous local population.

Today I stood at the help desk with a bibliography of essential reading for my upcoming PhD residency and was made to suffer through a tedious explanation of how a library such as theirs cannot stock the specialized books that I needed. Being the pragmatist that I am, I was expecting that the vast majority of the text was not to be found therein. But it is what came next that brought my blood to boil. Interrupting, as is social norm for Southerners, a very portly, waddling, effervescent woman squealed “Where can I find that new Jackie Collins book?” to the lady who was helping me. To my horror, the librarian turned with delighted eyes and brandished it from the depths of her own terminal. The two then had a quick, scatty conversation about the poetic prose of Jackie Collins where they both seemed to speak at once without ever hearing the other. Once the gaggling had died down and the native had wandered off with her masterpiece of literary heraldry, the librarian turned back to me and said the words “Hey, aren’t you that guy who was questioning us last week why we only had two books of some Von-da-gut author? Because I don’t think we have any more of these books then we do of that guy.”

Angry, mentally disheveled and forlorn, it was at this point that I left swearing to never, ever, darken step across the threshold of that building again.

Awesome Tilapia Recipe

Ingredients

4 Tilapia fillets

2 tbls Paprika

2 tsp Salt

2 tsp Lemon Pepper

1 1/2 tsp Garlic Powder

1 1/2 tsp Ground Red Pepper

1 1/2 tsp Dried, Crushed Basil

1 tsp Onion Powder

1 tsp Dried Thyme

1 cup Melted Unsalted Butter

Instructions

Heat iron skillet on high for 5 minutes.

Mix dry ingredients in a bowl.

Dip fillets in melted butter and coat with dry mix.

Place fillets in hot skillet, cooking 2 minutes per side.

Faith vs. Patience

I don’t understand the blind faith of people’s religious beliefs. That’s not to say that I don’t understand the premises, rules, customs and dogmas - those I understand emphatically. What I cannot comprehend is how someone can have absolute blind faith towards one religious belief while brushing aside all others as not as correct as their own. Strictly on blind faith, the only difference between Christianity, Hindi and a belief that your pet goldfish is the ultimate creator of the universe is the numbers which follow each belief. And alone, without the support of those numbers, the person who believes Jesus Christ once visited the earth as the son of God has nothing more to offer as substantiation then the person who believes in the divineness of his aquatic deity.

So when I realized that I too had blind faith in something it worried me.

I have absolute blind faith in those I love. I believe the potential of people will be met if encouraged and given proper support. And like all blind faith, it will fail 50% of the time when tested. Most of the time I do not mind. It is the offer of such faith in those that I love that is more important then whether they succeed or fail. But lately my patience for such faith is waning. I am exhausted in faith, exhausted in patience and tired of being proven wrong. My patience for blind faith in those I love is depleted by the reality of life. Reality is not perception, reality is perception applied.

Without faith you are only left with fact and that which you cannot explain. Seeing those you love under such an exacting light is not flattering and only leads to contempt and mistrust. I want to feel faith again. Faith in those I love, patience to give those people time to succeed and the trust I once had to believe in that faith once again.

Entry for March 02, 2006

Some days I feel as if we are here for some sort of cosmic explanation of what can and will be within the creation and understanding of the universe. But most days I believe we are just sacks of meat with options.

Dumb observation

Not many people seem to want to watch some half talented person butcher their favorite song in the middle of a bar at 1AM on a Friday night - yet one of the most popular shows on TV right now is nothing more the televised karaoke. Sooooo, WTF?