I hate Jimmy Buffett

Having lived for a couple of years on a small Caribbean island, like the ones loosely described in many of Jimmy Buffett’s songs, I have really grown to despise his music and now see it for what it is: It’s music for wannabe tourists that reeks of coconut-burnt skin and blue socks with sandals while swaying off rhythm to phony island beats played by people who hate their guts and despise the day that they ever decided that they ever wanted American dollars. It’s music for people who have no idea what happens on an island once the cruise ship leaves – who pretend that they long for the sea and a cold beer, but arrive on floating palaces and suck down $7 cocktails. It is everything that island music is not: fake, soulless and paraded for those who will no participate and add to the rhythm. So please, don’t try to play me Jimmy Buffett songs and pretend that you know – because you have no fucking clue.