My blog contains a large number of posts. A few are included in various other publications, or as attached stories and chronicles in my emails; many more are found on loose leaves, while some are written carelessly in margins and blank spaces of my notebooks. Of the last sort most are nonsense, now often unintelligible even when legible, or half-remembered fragments. Enjoy responsibly.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

New and Improved and On Sale Now!

You know that thing that you've heard of that sounded really good? We have something like that! That’s right, we’ve just started carrying that thing that you’ve been meaning to try (you know, the European sounding thing that can make your life a little better).

Yep, we also have that thing from when you were younger. Remember when that thing was cool? Well we still think it is and we sell a version similar to what you vaguely remember! Come and create new memories that can pass as old ones with fond, safe and generic references to recent history and the things that were popular then!

Feel like you should be in better shape, but think it might be hard work? Don’t fret, we’ve just created a new thing that will help you look incredible with an acceptable amount of effort! Just buy our thing, follow the simple directions and you will be happy about yourself very soon!

Think technology couldn’t get any better? Well it just did! Our new thing will give you more free time while making you the envy of others. What more could you want? Simply purchase our newly created thing, on sale for a couple easy payments, and in no time at all you’ll have a better life.

But wait, there’s more!

Want to feel like the individual that you are? Just purchase our thing and you can feel special again. Not too far away from whom you are, but enough to make you feel good about yourself for a while. Then, we’ll have a new thing that will help you again. Things have a scientifically proven power to make you feel temporarily better and that’s ok because we can always come up with new things for you to buy.

Don't wait, new things are standing buy.

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