I Loath and Love Wal-Mart

I Loath and Love Wal-Mart

Wal-Mart is a place where I love to go and watch people. Nowhere else, outside of a damaged food auction or a trailer park swap meet, can you see such undesirable people. I’m not talking about your standard down-on-their-luck individual or unfortunate physically-impaired person, but your complete don’t-care-what-they-look-like or how-poorly-they-represent-the-species kind of human being. And I’m using “human being” loosely here, because there are some creatures in Wal-Mart who clearly prove Darwin wrong: Organisms so faulty that to have had them exist within our reproductive population simply mocks our genetic future. Add to that your average Wal-Mart employee, usually the illegitimate offspring of mentally handicapped siblings or of such a broken spirit that they wouldn’t even pull the fire alarm if the food court started serving Molotov cocktails, and you have a perfect storm of horrible shopping pleasure.

The loath part of my relationship with Wal-Mart is much more complicated. Wal-Mart, being the powerhouse of retail organizations that they are, slowly destroys all of their competition – much like kamikaze termites eating the last tree in the forest – thus occasionally leaving them the only place in town for certain immediately-needed items. So while I love to visit the freak show that is the Made in China headquarters for the jingoistic, I loath having to actually buy anything from there.

Thus it was that I found myself standing in the Toy Department the day before Christmas looking for a last minute gift for someone that both Kela and I swore the other had bought a gift for well over a month ago. It took three customer service representatives and a call to a different store before I was finally able to get a definitive “doncurrydemnomore” from someone wearing the nametag of (and this is the honest truth) Slappy. Slappy went on to explain that Wal-Mart stopped carrying the item November 30th due to lack of demand (nooneboughtdemnomore).

Horrific national and localized economic damage aside, Wal-Mart does usually provide me with some positive benefits. I know where to go to feel better about myself, I know where to go to find people who will vote against their own self-interest just to feel like they belong to something that they never will, and I know where to go to should I ever find myself in need of a singing large-mouth bass the days before Christmas. At least, I did until November 30th.

Entry for December 29, 2009

The reason that your child plays with the box is because the toy came with its own story. Next time, just give them the box and let them create their own adventure.

Entry for December 9, 2009

Being a father I'm finding it increasingly hard to contrast the sudden feeling of pain creeping up upon me: a chilling fear, but also a realization, that certain moments must pass. One second of absolute and perfect happiness - one of the ten to twelve that comprises a whole life - with the fact that in one of these happy moments life could easily be comprehensible, but is ultimately fleeting. It is in that flawless moment of time where I am not sure to rejoice or mourn. Maybe it is both.

Nonconformist Reformist

This is a blog post that doesn't follow the rules. Unlike those other blogs, it’s edgy and raw. It's kicking your ass and not what you've come to expect from those other guys. What other blog posts are afraid to say, this one will scream. It will be all up in your grill and hitting on your girlfriend. You had better prepare to be rocked because this blog post will not conform to normal. So get ready to experience the extreme awesomeness that is an insane-crazy mixture of the written word and cheap marketing buzzwords, yo!

Faith for Sale

I come from a part of the country where people have what is known as personal faith. They believe that their own values and morals are stronger if forced out into the public marketplace of ideas. Strength in character is understood to come from an internal struggle and materializes as personality principles grounded in that person’s private beliefs.

When I moved to the South years ago I was very taken back by the openness and advertising of structures of morality. People’s faith seems to be not only open, but advertised freely in hopes to either encourage others or reaffirm one’s own beliefs. To me, this is horrifying and cheapens the individual moral reasoning essential for creating an honorably-balanced person. It is only under private contemplation that character is formed and personal morals, values and judgments about things still not understood by the world at large are weighed and measured. Substituting this process for a desire to belong to a clique or by blindly following a dogma ensconced in its own problems is not going to end well for either the individual or the any culture.

What I find most appalling is the shameful way that some people here advertise their religion for financial gain. Not only is it prevalent in all classes in the deep south, it is done so unabashedly and without further contemplation. Now, I am probably the last person who should get on a soapbox about this, but I don’t see anyone else doing it – so here goes:

When you put an ichthys on your billboards, business cards or business you are essentially trying to substitute your religious group for personal responsibility. Sure, you think that it lends some sort of creditability to your business, but in reality it is explicit promotion your religious affiliation for money. Or in other words, you are selling your personal beliefs for cash.

But this type of thing reaches much further than “Hire me I’m a Christian” stickers. It actively works to create pockets of people who deal only with like-minded people. This type of action fosters isolation, animosity and xenophobia. It is not only bad for our society, it’s possibly the most un-Christian thing that you can do.

Entry for November 21, 2009

So the same party that constantly calls for privatization, and that the government can't do anything right or that the private sector does everything better, is now saying that government health care option would put the private companies out of business.

Other thing that they will soon calling for:
More taxes to combat wealth distribution
Reinterpretation of the Constitution to stop people from changing it
Increase the amount of abortion doctors to talk patients out of abortions

Today's vote will be interesting.

Just the Facts, Ma'am

I would like to thank everyone out there, no matter if they remember having met me at some point or another, for getting right to the point. There seems to be an overabundance of respectful individuals to just say what it is that they want or need and then move on without a longwinded explanation as to why it is that they want or need a specific thing and how it is currently affecting their life. They just state it, much like a mathematic equation with a finite beginning and end, and move on. Just like the other day when I was standing at the checkout line a Publix and the nice woman in front of me decided to regale me with the full story about how she decided that the Bush beans were superior then the store brand, complete with side anecdote of her sick sisters moving and how it will alter her impending operation, after I had asked her if she had dropped her keys. So please let me extend this warm thank you to everyone out there, whether they are currently at work, like my sister who works at a humane society office and is worried that the Christmas season will bring with it another influx of poorly gifted animals, or my father who is currently retired and living at the beach (and if you haven’t been to the beach in NC, especially around the most southern part of the state, but still north of the tackiness of Myrtle Beach, I highly suggest it. But not at this time of year, the best time to visit in around June or August. Make sure that you visit local restaurants and stores, as that part of the country relies heavily on tourism), thank you for not wasting my time.

Entry for November 6, 2009

So I was thinking, suppose you owned an account firm, needed a lawyer, or was just looking to fill an empty position that made over 50K a year. Which of these two people would you hire?



Now what does that say about the products that they represent?