Entry for November 21, 2012

Some mornings I wake to the crushing realization of how much is dependent on my immediate actions, drive and example. I'm shaken out of slumber and into a world where the feeling of overwhelming guilt of incomplete tasks and waiting responsibilities feels unmanageable. The sheer weight of this realization crushes down upon me as I struggle to find the strength to simply face what must be done. And some mornings I make pancakes. Pancakes with chocolate chips. I like chocolate chip pancakes.

Entry for November 5, 2012

The internet is giving me tunnel vision. I no longer see anything in the margins, only the text in the middle. Pictures disappear, flashing rectangular games, half-naked women, political ads and commercials for the greatest website ever are completely invisible. I wasn't sure if it was spilling over into my real life, but then I realized that I don't see billboards, ads on cars or banners anymore. I have a feeling I could walk by the secret to life, written on a 100ft sign, illuminated, flashing and moving directly into my path, and my eyes would just move around it, forever losing my chance and knowing the cosmic answer to who, what, and why. But maybe that is for the best. Maybe losing the constant stream of noise is as close to enlightenment that I'm meant to be. Perhaps my zen, my nirvana, my personal heaven is simply having a couple extra minutes of peace.

Stay Puft Deferred Gratification

In 1972, psychologist Walter Mischel, then of Stanford University, created the marshmallow task to test deferred gratification in children. Simplified, a marshmallow was offered to each child. If the child could resist eating the marshmallow, they were promised two instead of one. The scientists analyzed how long each child resisted the temptation of eating the marshmallow, and whether or not doing so was correlated with future success. Following up with the kids years later, that they found that the longer kids had managed to wait, the better they did socially and academically as teens. The new update to this study was released this week and now includes an expansion to a child’s beliefs about the reliability of the people around them and how that can dramatically shape their willingness to wait for a better payoff. The more stable the environment, with consistent, honest interactions and, most importantly, tangible rewards overwhelming lead to the most favorable outcomes. What I found most interesting was the study’s finding of how substantive compensation over ethereal, from dependable authority figures, had such a long-term and profound impact. Having your child earn a new bike by doing specific tasks was quantifiably more valuable in their long-term success than telling them that the potential for acquisition of a bike included some sort of supernatural force. So Santa bringing them a new bike may make them happy, but having them earn a new bike (with Santa bringing them a new helmet) has a much higher probability of producing an adult who understands what it takes to be successful. Ultimately, the study’s findings made it very clear that, in order to give a child the best chance at future success, parents, teachers, guardians and family are strong encouraged to base their long term rewards in reality and not resort to otherworldly threats or rewards.

Entry for October 22, 2012

My Grandmother turned 97 this year, and although realize world is a different place than when she was younger, it never really hit home until she made an offhand comment while watching the news the other day. It was during some generic story that they showed kids playing in a ball pit. Not knowing what that was, she asked my son Sebastian. For the ten minutes following his explanation, she explained what it was like being a young child in the 1920s. It was absolutely fascinating and really drove home how much has changed in such a short period of time. It warmed my heart and made me sad that someday, almost 100 years from now, my little four-year-old son could be explaining his current childhood to his own Great-Grandchild and what life was like in the long forgotten days of the 2010s.

Entry for October 20, 2012

I had a dream last night that the house was swallowed up by the earth, only to reemerge 1,000 years from now, almost unchanged. A team of scientists was tasked with trying to learn about this by-gone era and formulated all sorts of hypothesis about why there were dirty dishes in the sink and a pile of clothes on the bedroom floor. The shoes casually tossed next to the shoe-trees, the broken PS3 remote that still hasn’t been thrown away, and the tools I left on the table from fixing one of my son’s toys were all important clues and caused great debates as to their significance. Our bodies, still undisturbed in beds, were not freshly bathed, nor had our teeth been properly brushed the night before. The overall conclusion that they were able to extrapolate from our century old lives was not a favorable one. When I awoke this morning I felt remorseful for being a bad representation of our time and immediately took a shower, brushed my teeth, and cleaned up the house a bit. Now that I’m done and can reflect on the entire experience I realize that, yes, we would have been an accurate description of the now. So if the house is swallowed up later on this morning, you can thank me for not making all of you look like the slobs you truly are.

Things I've learned from being very sick this weekend

I need to do a better job chewing my food. There is no good place to be when stuff starts coming out of both sides simultaneously. Leaf blowers are extremely loud even from a great distance. Cold tile is only a welcoming comfort for a short period of time. You will not be able to even think about whatever food you ate before you got sick for a lengthy period of time. While a quick blow to the head of anyone who enters your sick room to ask, "So, how are ya doing?" feels like the right response, you will not have the energy for it. When you've been expelling liquids for more than 24 hours, apple flavored Pedialyte is the greatest tasting liquid ever. Always leave the path between you and the bathroom open and unobstructed. Bedroom air molecules have a mass greater than molecules located anywhere else. Never sneeze or blow your nose anywhere besides seated on the toilet. Suicide may seem like an option, but your body makes sure that you don't have the strength for it. Never trust a fart. No matter how nice people are to you, you will hate everything about them while being equally grateful for everything they do. All light is too bright and unnecessary. You will be looking for a word to describe your teeth while sick, that word is “fuzzy.”