Costume Doom

Clerk: Welcome to the Halloween Costume Shack can I point you in a certain direction?

Woman: Well, yeah, I’m looking for a Hippopotamus costume.

Clerk: No problem! We have over three different styles of sexy Hippos. We even have a sexy Pygmy Hippopotamus for younger girls.

Woman: I’m a biologist who studies the Malagasy Hippopotamus and would just like a costume that looks like a Hippo for our staff Halloween Party. I’m happy to make alterations to match what I need.

Clerk: I understand and you’ll be happy to hear that all of our Hippo costumes come with an option of either a mini-skirt or a micro-mini. And all of them have a matching mask and bikini top.

Woman: What?

Clerk: Now this model comes with pasties, but doesn't include the 4" heels. Whereas this model...

Woman: Please, I just want a Hippo costume. Is there something that you can order that just looks like a Hippopotamus and isn’t.. …..sexy?

Clerk: I’m not sure that I understand. You want a costume right?

Woman: Yes, of a Hippopotamus.

Clerk: So a sexy hippopotamus?

Woman: NO! Just a hippopotamus.

Clerk: But it’s for a woman!

Woman: Look here, I’ve studied devoted my life to studying Hippopotamus, they are majestic, beautiful and intelligent creatures, but they are in no way "sexy." So I don’t understand why I can’t just buy a costume of a Hippo that isn’t "sexy."

Clerk: I’m sorry, but everyone one of our female costumes is provocative. Along with the Sexy hippo, we have a slutty Rhinoceros, a seductive Whopping Crane and a Walrus whore.

Woman: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!?!!

Clerk: If you would like I can get my manager, he’s just finishing up selling that woman over there a slutty vending machine costume.

Woman: Goodbye.