I Am Now a Card-Carrying Nanotitanium Visa Member

My new Nanotitanium Visa Card finally arrived in the mail this week and I have to say that it is incredible. With a variable rate of just 32.9%, it has a hologram, is partially clear, allows me to put my own 3D picture on it AND still has room for the words “Exclusive Nanotitanium Visa Member” across the top. Sure it doesn’t allow me to accrue any points, has no benefits, and there is a monthly fee of $27.50, but there is another value that I place higher. When I pull my Nanotitanium Visa Card out and hold it up for the cashier or waiter to see, everyone is immediately impressed. It is my not so subtle way to tell the world that I am better than them, can afford to throw away money and I am part of elite, select, group of individuals put on a pedestal above everyone else. Finally, there is a way for me to express my sheer awesomeness in simple card form. And because I need to spend at least $3,700 a month to retain my Nanotitanium Visa Card, feel free to ask me to buy you something so that you can bask in the exclusiveness that is my good common sense, higher intellect and sound fiscal responsibility.