There are people who walk this earth who, being blessed with above average physical qualities, have evolved to live solely on those talents. These individuals respond to any mental task with a mixture of exacerbation and increased sexual potency in the hope that you will see their frustration and beauty and be moved to help them. This display, while effective at younger ages, tends to fade with time. It leaves those who are dim and divine in a desperate departure from common sense to decrease their debilitating digression into distasteful despondency. In other words, they become damn-near worthless.
The upside is that they are willing to trade themselves for continued assistance in life. We know them as trophy wives, pool boys, etcetera. And for the right price, anyone can have one. It’s the putting up with them that is difficult. In order to help identify these people, I’ve created the following breakdown:
Younger years: When confronted with a mental problem they will smile, flirt, announce their intellectual short-comings, and wait for you to help.
Middle years: When confronted with a mental problem they will openly ask you to do the task giving one of several prepared excuses while looking tired and flaunting their best remaining features.
Older years: When confronted with a mental problem they will become clumsily lewd in the vain hope that you will either help out of your own sexual desperation or to stop them.
This last stage is the final act of a sickly animal. Excessive plastic surgery is their natural way of showing a thinning mane or a bum leg. Inviability is close at hand.
Now there is nothing particularly wrong with these sublimely slow. Just make sure that properly recognize them for what they are: beautiful morons.
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