Did you know...

Who does this remind you of?

Manichaean Paranoia is the belief that you are leading the forces of good against the empire of evil. It is the idea that your moral superiority justifies you in committing immoral acts.

I don't know. What do you want to eat?

So I was standing in the Health and Diet section at Barnes & Noble starring at the selection of books on food and it convinced me to go on a starvation diet. Not because any book that I saw there advocated it, but specifically because they didn’t. There was a book on why you shouldn’t eat meat because of all of the hormones that they inject in the animals. I can’t eat mass-produced vegetables because they are all treated with chemicals and genetically engineered. All seafood is out because of the mercury. No organic food because of lack of local over-site and possibility of e.coli-type contaminates. And to top it all off, I can’t drink water because of the buildup of estrogen progesterone and other prescription drugs that aren’t filtered out through the body or by water treatment plants. There is nothing that I can eat or drink that is actually good for me. So here I now sit, hungrily, eyeing a bag of Doritos made of things called disodium phosphate, inosinate, and guanylate, and wondering if my health is really worth it.