Bush Bans Menstruation as Last Minute Election Surprise

In a stunning move today, President Bush signed into law a bill that was quickly rushed through the still controlled Republican Congress, that bans all women from menstruating. This law, signed close to election time, is meant to galvanize the Republican base and get them to the polls. The bill defines each and every egg a woman has as a human life, and that women who murder their children with the “wickedness of menstruation” will be punished to the full extent of the law. He then used the occasion to reach out to other countries that still allow women to menstruate by labeling those countries as an “Axis of Bitchy” and threatened an end to both economic support and possible preemptive military action if they fail to comply. When questioned as to how this law could be realistically imposed on other countries Bush replied, “Our brave men and women of the armed forces stand ready to defend freedom and the lives of unborn children everywhere in the name of democracy”.