Kela's Perfect Rice (please don't tell her I posted this)

Now a lot of you have heard stories, and a couple have even had the pleasure, but my wife really does make the world s best rice. Now a few warnings: 1) She is Puerto Rican, so no matter what, her rice will always come up a little better. 2) This is plain rice with no spices added 3) I DID NOT TELL YOU ANY OF THIS!!! Ok, now that we ve got those out of the way – This is how you make Kela s Perfect Rice:

Start with 2 cups of Basmati Rice (must be Basmati) that comes bagged or in plastic. There is bunch of brands out there that come in burlap, avoid these unless they have an internal plastic bag protecting them from the dangers of the outside world. Take your 2 cups of rice and rinse them with hot water in a strainer in which the rice cannot fall through the holes (duh). When the water runs clear, drain as much as possible and remeasure. Measure and set aside twice the amount remeasured rice volume of faucet hot water, minus about 10% (if you are at a higher altitude use the whole double volume). Heat heavy pot (preferably with rounded sides) over medium heat with 2 tbsps of extra virgin olive oil. Once heated, spread the oil around the pan as much as possible and add the rice. Sauté the rice for 3-4 minutes in the oil, stirring constantly.

Next, add the measured water and 1 tbsp of regular iodized salt (sorry Alton, it needs to dissolve quickly) to the pot, stir and bring to a boil. Once boiling stir once, turn temperature down to medium low and put the lid on (it needs to be just low enough so that the top does not boil off) and LEAVE IT ALONE FOR 10 MINUTES – DO NOT LOOK AT IT, DO NOT THINK ABOUT IT, NOTHNG. After 10 minutes, turn the temperature off (if on an electric stove, move to a different burner and go buy a new stove) and again LEAVE IT ALONE FOR 10 MINUTES. After 10 minutes of cooking and 10 minutes or resting (for lack of a better or known term) open pot and fluff rice. Seriously. Fine, just take a fork and kind of scoop upwards in little strokes to allow the rice to mix a bit and air to get in and around the rice (this prevents the rice from clumping as it cools). Then, serve and eat.

There you have it, good rice is an art form, something passed down from generation to generation and varied throughout the world in every country differently by everyone. My beautiful wife s procedure for perfect Puerto Rican rice was taught to her by her family and rudely posted on the internet by her jerk of a husband. Hope you enjoy and if you need me I ll be sleeping on the couch.

PS My wife has only hit me out of anger once in the 13 years we have been together. She slugged me so hard that I still have a knot on my shoulder to this very day to remind me of what I did. So I tell you this now, as a veteran of a extremely pissed Puerto Rican woman s wrath, do not EVER touch her rice pot during that 10 minutes.