Have you ever taken one of those goofy love tests?

I was tricked into this one: http://gud.us/lovetest.php?page=537458 and got a good laugh, so I thought I would share. Enjoy.

Can someone please name this song?

Here is the link http://brian.hamilton.youaremighty.com/

What I know:
It’s not from Carmina Burana
It’s not from the Omen
It sounds Russian to me – but I’m not really sure.

Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

I can’t believe I’m responding to this question

I post quite a bit on Yahoo Answers and got barraged with questions when I posted a description as to the process of evolution as a theory on the same level as gravity (let’s hope there aren’t still people arguing that gravity doesn’t really exist). Here was the brunt of his argument: If we evolved from monkeys, why are monkeys still here?

So let me post this publicly, just in case someone else who can both read and thinks that this is a valid question might see it.

Because we all came from the common ancestor. It’s like wolves and dogs. Dogs evolved from wolves, but we still have wolves. Not everything has to evolve into the same thing (or at the same rate). So wolves in one place in the world can evolve close to where they’ve been for millions of years, and wolves with human interaction can evolve into the mutts we have in the house.

There, enough of that. I can’t believe we still have people so intellectually lazy on this planet. At this rate we will may actually start to devolve.

I really need a vacation...

...with some time to read what I want to read while not caring what those sounds coming from my laptop are warning me about..

After the credits

What do you do when your love’s lost hope?
When you know you will never get what you gave?

Could you resent and not hate.
Would you want to?
Would you have to?

In the end does it matter,
That you’ve seen your life fade?
Your hopes are still shattered,
You life has been paid.

Gone is your hope,
Disappeared is you life.
Never returning, ending in strife.

Wasted on those who cannot repay
Gone in the years of constant decay.

And finally you are all on your own,
Broken and tired and very alone.

Should you have left when you had a chance?
Abandoned hope for new romance?

Would it end the same?

The Anderson, South Carolina Public Library of Whatever

I am beginning to loath the beautiful Anderson, SC Public Library. It stands in Historic Anderson as a beacon of intelligently spent wealth in a small struggling southern town. Unfortunately they have the audacity to cater to the only recently anurous local population.

Today I stood at the help desk with a bibliography of essential reading for my upcoming PhD residency and was made to suffer through a tedious explanation of how a library such as theirs cannot stock the specialized books that I needed. Being the pragmatist that I am, I was expecting that the vast majority of the text was not to be found therein. But it is what came next that brought my blood to boil. Interrupting, as is social norm for Southerners, a very portly, waddling, effervescent woman squealed “Where can I find that new Jackie Collins book?” to the lady who was helping me. To my horror, the librarian turned with delighted eyes and brandished it from the depths of her own terminal. The two then had a quick, scatty conversation about the poetic prose of Jackie Collins where they both seemed to speak at once without ever hearing the other. Once the gaggling had died down and the native had wandered off with her masterpiece of literary heraldry, the librarian turned back to me and said the words “Hey, aren’t you that guy who was questioning us last week why we only had two books of some Von-da-gut author? Because I don’t think we have any more of these books then we do of that guy.”

Angry, mentally disheveled and forlorn, it was at this point that I left swearing to never, ever, darken step across the threshold of that building again.

Awesome Tilapia Recipe

Ingredients

4 Tilapia fillets

2 tbls Paprika

2 tsp Salt

2 tsp Lemon Pepper

1 1/2 tsp Garlic Powder

1 1/2 tsp Ground Red Pepper

1 1/2 tsp Dried, Crushed Basil

1 tsp Onion Powder

1 tsp Dried Thyme

1 cup Melted Unsalted Butter

Instructions

Heat iron skillet on high for 5 minutes.

Mix dry ingredients in a bowl.

Dip fillets in melted butter and coat with dry mix.

Place fillets in hot skillet, cooking 2 minutes per side.

Faith vs. Patience

I don’t understand the blind faith of people’s religious beliefs. That’s not to say that I don’t understand the premises, rules, customs and dogmas - those I understand emphatically. What I cannot comprehend is how someone can have absolute blind faith towards one religious belief while brushing aside all others as not as correct as their own. Strictly on blind faith, the only difference between Christianity, Hindi and a belief that your pet goldfish is the ultimate creator of the universe is the numbers which follow each belief. And alone, without the support of those numbers, the person who believes Jesus Christ once visited the earth as the son of God has nothing more to offer as substantiation then the person who believes in the divineness of his aquatic deity.

So when I realized that I too had blind faith in something it worried me.

I have absolute blind faith in those I love. I believe the potential of people will be met if encouraged and given proper support. And like all blind faith, it will fail 50% of the time when tested. Most of the time I do not mind. It is the offer of such faith in those that I love that is more important then whether they succeed or fail. But lately my patience for such faith is waning. I am exhausted in faith, exhausted in patience and tired of being proven wrong. My patience for blind faith in those I love is depleted by the reality of life. Reality is not perception, reality is perception applied.

Without faith you are only left with fact and that which you cannot explain. Seeing those you love under such an exacting light is not flattering and only leads to contempt and mistrust. I want to feel faith again. Faith in those I love, patience to give those people time to succeed and the trust I once had to believe in that faith once again.

Entry for March 02, 2006

Some days I feel as if we are here for some sort of cosmic explanation of what can and will be within the creation and understanding of the universe. But most days I believe we are just sacks of meat with options.

Dumb observation

Not many people seem to want to watch some half talented person butcher their favorite song in the middle of a bar at 1AM on a Friday night - yet one of the most popular shows on TV right now is nothing more the televised karaoke. Sooooo, WTF?

Please tell me where I am wrong with this seemingly inescapable logic on the Iraq situation?

1. If there was no WMDs then there was no immediate threat to the US
2. If there was no immediate threat to the US, then there was no justification under both international law and our own president’s statements *
3. If there was no justification under both international law and our president’s own statements, then it was illegal
4. If it was illegal then it was a war crime **
5. If it was a war crime, then those who ordered it are war criminals

* "They have WMD. If they didn’t we wouldn’t have any right to invade" March 2002 So even under our presidents own admission, this war was done illegally
** war crime n. means an act or omission that is committed during an international armed conflict, whether or not it constitutes a contravention of the law in force at the time and in the place of its commission, and that, at that time and in that place, constitutes a contravention of the customary international law or conventional international law applicable in international armed conflict.

Also,

I am not for bringing the president up on war crimes, but the evidence is seems to be fairly clear that the simple progression of inescapable logic listed above is accurate.

Please also don’t get into whether or not invading Iraq was a good thing. We’ve obviously lost that war as we are about to pull out as they are falling into a what will be a long, nasty civil war that will end (as their history shows, time and time again) with yet another leader like Saddam finally winning over one side or the other. All of that is pretty cut and dry at this point. It’s the buildup and justification to classification of war criminals that I hope for someone to shed light on.

Where in the world is Brian & Kela

A couple of you have asked where the hell we actually are right now. So here is the basic schedule:

• Kela is in Champaign, Il through March 4 learning how to better doctor people
• Brian is in Atlanta interviewing for waaay to many jobs during the week of Feb 13-20 – then back to Anderson, SC for a week of consulting work and back to Atlanta once more
• Kela should begin her rotation in Atlanta sometime in April (hopefully)
• Brian is already teaching online and hopes to have another position by the time Kela returns (hopefully)
• Lucy (our worthless mongrel of a dog) will be staying with Brian until he has found a permanent home in or around Atlanta

How long will we be in Atlanta?

At least 2 years for Kela to finish her basic rotations

Where are we moving after that?

Who knows – we’re still trying to figure that out

Haven’t you people moved enough over the last couple of years?

Yes, we don’t even bother unpacking everything anymore

Are you going to have kids?

We don’t even have time to take care of the dog. She’s learned to cook herself dinner and uses the toilet.

Really?

No.

Entry for February 03, 2006

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. – Groucho Marx

Another Day, Another Wal-Mart Lawsuit

So today I was reading the news and one of the leading headlines reads, “Women Sue Wal-Mart Over Contraception”. The article goes on to explain how these women are “accusing the retail giant of violating a state regulation by failing to stock emergency contraception pills in its pharmacies”. Which got me to thinking: at some point you would think that all of news programs showing the slave labor in China, the massive lawsuits and eventual legal victories, the destroyed small communities and serious damage to the American economy should hurt this company. It's hard to believe that they aren't even attempting to be more proactive about NOT appearing so damn evil. It’s like they want to collapse from their own weight and disconnect from their core customer.

http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20060201/ap_on_re_us/wal_mart_contraception_1

So both Kela and I have been going to a place called Pilates in Anderson and have been loving it. We are thinking about buying some equipment of our and were told to check out Pilates Apparatus (www.pilatesapparatus.net) for the best quality and price. We’ll let you know how it goes.

Kela's Perfect Rice (please don't tell her I posted this)

Now a lot of you have heard stories, and a couple have even had the pleasure, but my wife really does make the world s best rice. Now a few warnings: 1) She is Puerto Rican, so no matter what, her rice will always come up a little better. 2) This is plain rice with no spices added 3) I DID NOT TELL YOU ANY OF THIS!!! Ok, now that we ve got those out of the way – This is how you make Kela s Perfect Rice:

Start with 2 cups of Basmati Rice (must be Basmati) that comes bagged or in plastic. There is bunch of brands out there that come in burlap, avoid these unless they have an internal plastic bag protecting them from the dangers of the outside world. Take your 2 cups of rice and rinse them with hot water in a strainer in which the rice cannot fall through the holes (duh). When the water runs clear, drain as much as possible and remeasure. Measure and set aside twice the amount remeasured rice volume of faucet hot water, minus about 10% (if you are at a higher altitude use the whole double volume). Heat heavy pot (preferably with rounded sides) over medium heat with 2 tbsps of extra virgin olive oil. Once heated, spread the oil around the pan as much as possible and add the rice. Sauté the rice for 3-4 minutes in the oil, stirring constantly.

Next, add the measured water and 1 tbsp of regular iodized salt (sorry Alton, it needs to dissolve quickly) to the pot, stir and bring to a boil. Once boiling stir once, turn temperature down to medium low and put the lid on (it needs to be just low enough so that the top does not boil off) and LEAVE IT ALONE FOR 10 MINUTES – DO NOT LOOK AT IT, DO NOT THINK ABOUT IT, NOTHNG. After 10 minutes, turn the temperature off (if on an electric stove, move to a different burner and go buy a new stove) and again LEAVE IT ALONE FOR 10 MINUTES. After 10 minutes of cooking and 10 minutes or resting (for lack of a better or known term) open pot and fluff rice. Seriously. Fine, just take a fork and kind of scoop upwards in little strokes to allow the rice to mix a bit and air to get in and around the rice (this prevents the rice from clumping as it cools). Then, serve and eat.

There you have it, good rice is an art form, something passed down from generation to generation and varied throughout the world in every country differently by everyone. My beautiful wife s procedure for perfect Puerto Rican rice was taught to her by her family and rudely posted on the internet by her jerk of a husband. Hope you enjoy and if you need me I ll be sleeping on the couch.

PS My wife has only hit me out of anger once in the 13 years we have been together. She slugged me so hard that I still have a knot on my shoulder to this very day to remind me of what I did. So I tell you this now, as a veteran of a extremely pissed Puerto Rican woman s wrath, do not EVER touch her rice pot during that 10 minutes.

In Defense of Christianity

I think that the problem a lot of people have with Christianity is that a large segment of Christians try to translate the Bible literally. This only leads to kind of a joking atmosphere when discussing certain aspects of Christianity and makes it very hard to take the good parts as, well, good parts. Since some of these people, who believe so completely that the literal translations are the correction translations, feel compelled to constantly, repeatedly and forcefully enlighten others as to their beliefs, it burns bridges for everyone who falls under the banner of Christianity. Consequently, those who see the teachings of the Bible as simple lessons of morals are not able to spread that understanding because most listeners have become cynical whenever they are preached at. It is a shame that all that people hear and see is the inherent holes yelled at them by sidewalk prophets and not the plain belief that the Bible is a list of good ideas set to a classic storied theme.

War, what is it good for

A new friend of mine who has just moved here from another country asked me today how often it is that the US goes to war. "I dunno" was my response, quickly followed with, "Umm, probably a lot?". He didn't know either - but we both thought it probably was a considerable amount of the US history. So tonight I went about the task of listing all of the wars and military conflicts that we as a nation have engaged in since 1776. At the bottom you will find a total number of combined years we have had military conflicts, a percentage of our life as a country that we have been at war and one percentage with the years of the Cold War removed for those of you who will argue that since no shots were fired it was not a war. Also, I rounded everything to the nearest year. Some are slightly more and some are slightly less then a whole year. But in the end, both sides balance each other out.

Years Consumed	War Waged
7	American Revolution (1775-1783) - Also involved France, Spain and the Netherlands against Britain. The first Anglo-American War. (Yeas of 1775 not included in count)
1	Shay's Rebellion (1786-1787)
1	The Whiskey Rebellion (1794)
2	Quasi-War with France (1798-1800)
1	Fries's Rebelion "The Hot Water War" (1799)
5	Tripolitanian War (1800-1805)
1	Algerine War (1815)
2	War of 1812 (1812-1814)-The second Anglo-American War.
1	Invasion of Spanish Florida (1819)-Andrew Jackson seized Florida from Spain.
1	U.S.-Mexican War (1846-1847)-The United States invaded Mexico and forced the Mexicans to cede the northern half of the country and also to give up any claim to Texas.
5	Kansas Civil War "Bleeding Kansas" (1855-1860)-Guerilla warfare between pro and anti slavery forces.
1	Brown's Raid on Harpers Ferry (1859)-Anti-slavery militant John Brown's attempt to jump start a slave rebellion.
4	Civil War (1861-1865)
1	U.S. Intervention in Hawaiian Revolution (1893)
1	Spanish-American War (1898)
2	U.S. Intervention in Samoan Civil War (1898-1899) with U.S. and British Naval Bombardment of Samoa --A resumption of past civil wars in which Samoan chief Mataafa seized power following the death of his rival, King Malietoa Laupepa, who had defeated him in the last Samoan Civil War (1893-1894). Fighting ensued, which was complicated by the long-standing rivalry between the U.S., Britain and Germany for de facto control over the Samoan Islands. On March 15, 1899, warships of the American and British Navies bombarded the Samoan city of Apia to intimidate the reigning Samoan king, who was allied with the Germans. An Anglo-American landing force took control of Apia, but were not able to pacify the interior. All sides agreed to cease fighting on May 13, 1899. Later that year, the three Western nations signed a treaty dividing Samoa between them. This whole conflict was part of a wider Samoan civil war.
3	Philippine-American War (1899-1902)
1	Boxer Rebellion (1900)-Also involved Britain, France, Germany, Russia, Japan, Italy, Austria-Hungary against "Boxer" rebels in China as well as the Chinese government.
12	The Moro Wars (1901-1913)-Guerilla warfare against U.S. forces by the Moro Muslims of the southern Philippines. Can be seen as a continuation of the Philippine-American War.
1	U.S. Intervention in Panamanian Revolution (1903)-The U.S. landed troops in Panama to prevent Columbia from crushing the separatist Panamanian government.
24	The Banana Wars (1909-1933)-A series of U.S. interventions in various Central American and Caribbean countries.
1	U.S. Occupation of Vera Cruz (1914)-The U.S. landed troops in Vera Cruz, Mexico.
12	Pershing's Raid into Mexico (1916-1917)-After Mexican rebel Pancho Villa attacked a U.S. town, General Pershing pursued him across the border.
12	World War I (1917-1918)
3	Allied Intervention in Russian Civil War (1919-1921)-Also involved Britain, France, Japan, Italy, Poland and the Czech Legion against the new Bolshevik (Soviet Communist) government in Russia.
4	World War II (1941-1945)
46	The Cold War (1945-1991)
3	Korean War (1950-1953)-Also involved Britain, France, Turkey, and others against North Korea and China.
1	Intervention in Lebanon (1958)
9	Vietnam War (1964-1973)--The "advisory" phase of U.S. involvement goes from 1956 to 1964, and then resumes from 1973 to 1975. The years 1964 to 1973 refer to the period of "official" combat deployment of U.S. forces in the war.
5	Cambodian Civil War (1970-1975)
2	Dominican Intervention (1965-1966?)
2	Iranian Hostage Crisis (1979-1980)
2	Lebanese Intervention (1982-1984)
1	Grenada Invasion (1983)
8	First Persian Gulf War (1980-1988)-The U.S. gave logistical and intelligence information to Iraq in its war against Iran.
2	Tanker War (1987-1988)-The U.S. provided naval protection for Kuwaiti oil tankers in the Persian Gulf. This led to multiple clashes with the Iranian military.
1	Panama Invasion (1989)
1	Second Persian Gulf War (1991)
2	Somalia Intervention (1992-1993)
1	Bosnian War (1995)-The U.S. and NATO engaged in air strikes to force the Bosnian Serb forces to negotiate a peace agreement. Also known as Operation Deliberate Force. U.S. airpower contributed 65.9% of the NATO air sorties.
8	bin Laden's War (1998-Present) -Terrorist conflict between the United States and irregular forces led by Osama bin Laden. The violence has also involved Kenya, Tanzania, Sudan and Afghanistan.
1	Kosovo War (1999)
5	The War in Afghanistan (2001-Present)
3	The Third Persian Gulf War : "Operation Iraqi Freedom" (2003)--The second major war between the United States-led coalition and the Middle Eastern nation of Iraq. Military members of the coalition also include the United Kingdom and Australia.
1	Intervention in Haiti (2004)--Intervention to prevent civil war/anarchy in Haiti following the Gonsalves Rebellion against the Haitian government
230	Total number of combined years as a we stated as a country in 1776
213	Total number of combined years since 1776 we've been at a state of war
92.6%	Percentage of combined years of war since 1776
72.6%	Percentage of combined years of war since 1776 minus the Cold War.

So, at the very least, we have been at a
state of war with someone for 72% of our complete time as a country.

References:

1. Kohn, George C. Dictionary of Wars. New York: Facts On File Publications,
1986.

2. Marley, David F. Wars of the Americas: A Chronology of Armed Conflict in the
New World, 1492 to the Present. Santa Barbara, California: ABC-CLIO, 1998.

3. Langer, William L., ed. An Encyclopedia of World History. 5th ed. Boston,
Massachusetts: Houghton Mifflin, 1972.

4. Banks, Arthur S., ed. Political Handbook of the World: 1994-1995. 5th ed.
Binghamton, NY: CSA Publications, 1995.

5. Internal Wars and Failures of Governance, 1954-1996--By the State Failure
Project.

Money, it's a drag

As this is the first month of the year, it’s best to get a good idea of what it is you’ll be working for in the upcoming months. Below is a breakdown of a couple of things in which the American Citizen will be footing the bill. Each one is connected to a link, just in case you find them hard to believe. Have a nice day and remember to work hard this year. We have lots of bills to pay.

700 Million = Cost of sending probe to Pluto

56 Billion = Cost of Federal Budget for Department of Education in 2006 Budget

235 Billion = Cost of operations in Iraq up to now

298 Million = Population of the US

Individual costs per citizen:

Pluto = $2.35 per person

Public Education = $187.92 per person

Iraq = $788.59 per person

I just got the results back and they are not good...

It seems that I am not a well man.

From what I can deduce, I have a terminal condition of Persistent Breathing Syndrome (PBS) and a raging case of Repetitive Heart Beat Disease (RHBD) in combination with Relentless Aging Process Sickness (RAPS). All of which, according to my research on various TV commercials, can be cured with simple drugs. So thank goodness for our wonderful drug companies. No longer do they have to pretend to spend any money on research and development of any real cures, since they’ve finally found a treatment for my Inability to Cope with Life Dysfunction (ICLD).